words in movies
Chandler: Wow! She looks great. Doesnt she?
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Monica: Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You cant eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Ross: Yknow what, I dont know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.
Chandler: Okay, okay, but dont worry, because we also have cereals, muffins, waffles, and, jams, jellies, and marmalades. Which Im fairly certain are the same thing.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
Ross: Here she comes. Dont say a word, okay? Just be cool, dont be y'know you.
Kathy: Wasnt Nick funny when he couldnt get his match lit?
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Kathy: Oh, wow. I cant believe youre throwing that in my face.
Chandler: Well, that is what happened, and I dont even see you denying this!
Kathy: Ill tell you what, Chandler, why dont you call me when you grow up!
Chandler: Yeah, well, dont expect that to happen anytime soon!
Joey: I dont know, it smells good.
Monica: Wait! Wait! This isnt take-out!
Monica: No, wait, please dont go! Ive got porn for you too!
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont need it.
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Phoebe: Why dont you ask him out?
Rachel: Really? It doesnt seem desperate?
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Joey: Well, you gotta give him something that he cant say no too. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, youre guaranteed hell say yes!
Joey: Absolutely! And if it doesnt, can I get the extra ticket?
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
Chandler: Well y'know, what if she didnt actually sleep with the guy?
Joey: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! Theres a lot of theories that didnt pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
Chandler: Well, she wasnt sleeping with him.
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Phoebe: (entering) Found the vest! I mean were gonna have to keep an eye on it, yknow make sure we dont lose it again
Monica: No!! Why didnt you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!!
Phoebe: Yeah thats great! Next to that, Chandler wont look so stupid.
Tour Guide: Im Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these arent real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)
Phoebe: Ugh. Come on, Mona, dont kiss ass.
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Joey: Oh yeah! Amy just burned Jos manuscript. I dont see how he could ever forgive her.
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Monica: Okay then, I dont stink. Im a good chef. Okay. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Rachel: Oh, wait yes, but I cant eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Jessica Lockhart: Whats the matter Dina? Dont you recognize your own (Does a hair flip) mother?!
Monica: I cant believe mom and dad are selling the house!
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
Phoebe: Oh, I wasnt even thinking about that.
Chandler: You see, I dont say(Starts laughing.)
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
Conan: For example, I dont have to memorize lines. You guys actually have to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
Ross: Well, yeah. I cant-I cant stay here all night, and if I go in there shes-shes gonna wanna... do stuff.
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Joey: Well, theres gonna be strippers there. He didnt say anything about no strippers.
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
Jasmine: Fine. (starts to leave, and points at Frank) I dont like you!! (leaves)
Chandler: I cant seem to say goodbye.
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Chandler: I dont know, its these new shoes, theyre all slippery.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
Joey: I guess I didnt really think about it.
Mr. Simon: Why wasnt I offered that? Id definitely pay more for that.
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Ross: Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldnt get messed up?
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Joey: No, no, no, dont get up, I got a cooler right here.
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don�t look stupid for my pictures.
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Rachel: Oh dont even ask!
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
Rachel: Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but Im also really psyched cause I dont have to move in here!
Rachel: Well isnt it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of?
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Joey: Oh. Okay. Ooh! Ooh! Okay, maybe Ill talk about London! Yknow when you two hooked up! Only, only I wont say hooked up. Ill say, "Began their beautiful journey "
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
Chandler: Maybe we shouldnt pay our phone billfree phone sex.
Rachel: I didnt know you could get married here.
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Monica: Oh yeah, she didnt hire me out of pity, it wasnt so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks Im good.
Phoebe: Like okay I-I-I, I havent met any Portuguese people! I, I havent had the perfect kiss! And I havent been to snipers school!
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Rachel: No. Not-not for me, but why dont you take off your sweater?
Joey: I dont know why you say that so soon.
Chandler: I thought we werent gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Yknow, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Gunther: Well, I wouldnt call her a star, but shes really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Joey: Dont blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
Rachel: Oh my God, wait did II just said Greens dont quit didnt I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens dont quit?!
Phoebe: Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch.
Rachel: Yeah, but I dont know why. Look at me, Im having such a wonderful time!
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Ross: Oh, I kinda was, wasnt I?
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Rachel: Yeah, when were in the audience he doesnt talk to us, but he does wave.
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.