words in movies
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: What do you see?
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Susan: Thanks.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Like lovers.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
SUSAN: What?
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
Susan: Carol, not me.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: Your son.
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Susan: It's my baby too.
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
SUSAN: That's so exciting.
Susan: Hey!
Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Susan: Ahh!
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
Susan: I like Ben.
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
(Susan and Emily get off.)
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
Susan: Hey! (They hug.)
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Susan: No, she's at a faculty meeting.
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Susan: Oh yeah, Im so excited, Ive never been there.
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....