words in movies
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: Hey.
SUSAN: What?
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
SUSAN: That's so exciting.
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Like lovers.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Susan: This should be fun.
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Susan: Carol, not me.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
Susan: Your son.
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Susan: Hey!
Susan: It's my baby too.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Susan: Ahh!
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Susan: I like Ben.
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
(Susan and Emily get off.)
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
Susan: Hey! (They hug.)
Susan: No, she's at a faculty meeting.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Susan: Oh yeah, Im so excited, Ive never been there.
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Carol: Ah, Susan will be so pleased.
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Ross: (staring at Susan) You've tasted it? You've tasted it.
Phoebe: Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.
Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
Susan: Oh, I wouldnt miss it for the world.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."