words in movies
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Carol: Ah, Susan will be so pleased.
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: What do you see?
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Susan: Thanks.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Like lovers.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
SUSAN: What?
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
Susan: Carol, not me.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: Your son.
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Susan: It's my baby too.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Susan: Ahh!
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
SUSAN: That's so exciting.
Susan: Hey!
Susan: I like Ben.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
(Susan and Emily get off.)
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Susan: Hey! (They hug.)
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Susan: Oh yeah, Im so excited, Ive never been there.
Susan: No, she's at a faculty meeting.
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.