words in movies
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: You did!
Susan: No, you don't.
Susan: I got it.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: Yes.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: What do you see?
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Susan: Thanks.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Like lovers.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
SUSAN: What?
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Susan: Carol, not me.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
Susan: Your son.
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Susan: It's my baby too.
SUSAN: That's so exciting.
Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
Susan: Hey!
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Susan: Ahh!
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Susan: I like Ben.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
(Susan and Emily get off.)
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.