words in movies
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
SUSAN: Come on. I'll let you lead.
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: You did!
Susan: No, you don't.
Susan: I got it.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: Yes.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: What do you see?
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Susan: Thanks.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Like lovers.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
SUSAN: What?
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Susan: Carol, not me.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
Susan: Your son.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
Susan: It's my baby too.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
SUSAN: That's so exciting.
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Susan: Ahh!
Susan: Hey!
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Susan: I like Ben.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
(Susan and Emily get off.)
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Susan: No, she's at a faculty meeting.
Susan: Hey! (They hug.)
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
Susan: Oh yeah, Im so excited, Ive never been there.
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.