words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Chandler: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know
Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
Rachel: So?
Joey: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
Joey: So did that do anything for ya?
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Monica: We heard about your pants, I'm so sorry.
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Emily: So what are you saying? Its now or never?
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Fergie: (Yep, Sarah, the Duchess of York) Okay, so umm, whats your friends name?
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
Joey: No, I dont think so.
Chandler: Im so tired. (She starts kissing him.) Yeah okay, but no foreplay.
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.
Ross: (entering) So I nodded off a little.
Donny: ...should be playing with the star of "General Hospital" Leslie Charleson. (applause) Welcome everybody. Good luck to all of you. Let's play Pyramid. All right? Now... we flipped a coin before the show, Gene, you won the toss, so you're gonna start. Which category would you like?
Chandler: So how are you doing?
Joey: Oh, it was so amazing. After the (pause) love making...
{Transcriber's Note: The credits list two characters, Tia and Samantha, who I assume are the sweaty women Joey and Chandler meet. However, I don't know which is which, so I've simply called them Woman #1 and Woman #2.}
Joey: (wipes face) So what are we gonna do?! We have no reinforcements! No-no food!
Phoebe: All right, so, okay...
Ross: So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college.
Ross: So uh, have a great time down there.
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Rachel: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
Pete: ...so y'know, thats why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, Wash my car. Clean my room. Its not gonna be able to do any of those things, but itll understand what youre saying.
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Rachel: He is so cute!
Phoebe: Oh thats so great! Ohh, so whats going on now?
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Phoebe: So tell me about this girl?
Phoebe: Oh God, Im so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked.
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Ross: So, then you can stay as long as you want.
Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?
Monica: Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
CAROL: So how did everything go?
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
ROSS: Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number?
Joey: Im so worried about him, yknow?
Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much! (They hug.) Okay.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready?
Alice: Y'know it-its funny, um, Frank told me so much about you, but your not how I pictured you at all.
Kate: What? So you never went out with an actress before?
Ross: Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before, and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal!
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Joey: (asleep) So why dont you give me your number?
Phoebe: So you still hadn't heard from Emily?
Monica: Thats because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you dont believe me, please, by my guest.
Ross: So, what? That's it?
Ross: Rach, Rach, I am so sorry. I am so-so sorry.
PHOEBE: I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up.
Rachel: (sarcastically) No, I did, but tell me again, because its so romantic.
Ross: Well, that's cool. So did (She walks away from him and he shuts up.)
ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
Monica: What took you so long?
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
Monica: So, Ill get-get back to my friend.
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
Dr. Long: Shes gonna be fine. Okay, shes in a more difficult position so youre gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push!
Phoebe: Ohh, that's so nice! How great! Well, where? Where's the trip?!
Chandler: Yeah, but it was like a million years ago, so it doesn't matter.
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.
Mona: So, is it my turn now?
Monica: Okay. (She does so and starts to walk towards Joey to receive her pancakes.)
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Chandler: (laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.
Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
Monica: So, why wait 'til Saturday, are you free tomorrow?
Phoebe: (excited) Central (not so excited) Park!
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Dan: So, I'll call you tomorrow.
Chandler: Really? Okay, so
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
Chandler: Yknow what? It seems like all of the sudden; so much has happened.
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Lewis: Yeah, Im all in love with you and stuff. So could you change my grade?
Phoebe: Yeah. So?
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
Ross: I know. I am, I am so sorry.
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
Ross: Oh that is so great! That's
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Emily: So why did you plan a party at the same time?
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Monica: Yeah, so?
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Phoebe: Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
Chandler: I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry.
Phoebe: Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm.
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!