words in movies
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Phoebe: If she says no, can I have the ring?
Chandler: Shes not gonna say no.
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
(She goes into the bathroom.)
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Joey: Thats not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
(Monica smiles then acts shocked. Chandler cant believe she just did that.)
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Ross: Okay umm, bad stuff. Well, Im-Im 12 years older than she is.
Monica: Shes leaving for three months.
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think shed like that.
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Phoebe: Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesnt know for sure, so just throw her off the track.
Phoebe: No, youre too late!!! She already took out the trash!!!
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Phoebe: Ohh, yeah. I think his exact words were (She makes two clicking sounds with her tongue and purrs.)
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
Richard: Shes not here and please come in.
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
Chandler: Well where did she go?
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
Joey: Shes gone.
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Chandler: Well where Where did she go?
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
Rachel: (she goes towards the others and she's very excited) Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!!
Monica: She said that?!
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Amy: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
(Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.)
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Monica: Okay. (She does so and starts to walk towards Joey to receive her pancakes.)
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
Rachel: No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor.
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here
Monica: Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? (She pours out the rest of her change purse into the bucket.)
(As she leaves, a beautiful woman enters and sits down across from the boys.)
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Chandler: Luckily, the guy she settled for cant hear what youre talking about.
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
Mrs. Waltham: You can forget about Emily, shes not with us.
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Mrs. Waltham: (As she walks pass Ross, she pats his but.) Call me.
(She escapes, fortunately so distracting Mr. Douglas, that he misses Chandlers expression of alarm & guilt.)
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Rachel: (she stops and turns) Hi!
Ross: Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?
Monica: Well, shes not going to find them lying in the grass like that.
Chandler: Doesn't know, "Hello." But she knows Capricorn One.
(She stares at him and Ross realizes what shes thinking.)
(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesnt react. He tries it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)
Ross: Well, that's cool. So did (She walks away from him and he shuts up.)
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
(In slow motion we see Phoebe look at Marcel, then at Luisa. She jumps toward Marcel just as Luisa fires the gun.)
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Phoebe: Oh no. Did umm, did she say why?
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Phoebe: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
Chandler: (laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Monica: Oh, shes gonna love that!
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Ross: She wants me to move to London.
(She laughs.)
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Monica: Yeah. (She takes them off.)
Rachel: Ohhh.(she rhythmically taps her hands on the magazine on her lap.)
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Ross: Monica said that did she? (He squeezes Monicas knee really hardly and Monica winces in pain.)
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
(She kisses him on the cheek, and he kisses her back on the mouth.)
Rachel: Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
CHANDLER: Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, okay, but she's married, she has a husband.
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
ROSS: Hello.� (listens)� Ah, no, she's not here right now.� Can I take a message?� (grabs a pad and pen)� Bill from the bar?� (writes)� Okay, "Bill from the bar."� I'll make sure she gets your number.
Chandler: Did she call?
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Ross: Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.
Monica: If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, thats your department now. (She takes back the turkey leg)
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
Rachel: 'Kay. (Pause.) Congratulations on your new job. (She goes and hugs Monica and is almost in tears.)
Phoebe: That might work! (She gives him the coat.)
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
Chandler: Look, you dont have to draw an actual wowhoa! Shes hot!
Chandler: Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first! (she leaves)
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Emily: Oh. Oh. (She starts running towards the building.)
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
Phoebe: Okay. (She laughs harder.)
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
(She turns around and throws the bouquet to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: What about this? (she starts using her elbows on his back, he yells in pain)
Phoebe: And a glass of tepid water. (She gathers up all of these things.)
Joey: Oh no! How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?!?
Monica: Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?
(He leaves and she closes the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are still debating about how to tell Rachel that Chandlers moving in and shes moving out.]
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you dont feel that now. It was crazy! Youre fine. Youre better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everythings normal! Shes just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
Monica: Oh my God! Shes amazing. Oh, oh Im so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Rachel: How could you not tell me that she has hair?
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!