words in movies
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Phoebe: If she says no, can I have the ring?
Chandler: Shes not gonna say no.
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
(She goes into the bathroom.)
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Joey: Thats not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
(Monica smiles then acts shocked. Chandler cant believe she just did that.)
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Ross: Okay umm, bad stuff. Well, Im-Im 12 years older than she is.
Monica: Shes leaving for three months.
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think shed like that.
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Phoebe: Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesnt know for sure, so just throw her off the track.
Phoebe: No, youre too late!!! She already took out the trash!!!
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Phoebe: Ohh, yeah. I think his exact words were (She makes two clicking sounds with her tongue and purrs.)
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
Richard: Shes not here and please come in.
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
Chandler: Well where did she go?
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
Joey: Shes gone.
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Chandler: Well where Where did she go?
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
Joey: Okay, time to take off the bra. (She glares at him.)
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Monica: Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building...
Rachel: Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really.(She hears the noise of the key in the lock) Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide!
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
PHOEBE: Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent. She wants to know what's wrong?
CHANDLER: There was no fish when she dropped it off.
MR. GREENE: ...what the hell does she want with half a boat...
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Monica: Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy)
Joey: Because it's impossible to find her apartment! She lives in some like of hot girl parallel universe, or something.
Nancy: She is kidding, but don't ever disagree with her again. Okay, now I'm kidding!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She and David are still kissing each other in the living room.]
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Joey: It's called Shutter Speed, it's really cool! Yeah, umm, I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in like a day, right? And then, she disappears But I find out where she lives and when I get there this like old lady answers the door and I say, "Where's Betsy?" Right? And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years."
Chandler: That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Ross: Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?
Phoebe: I think on some levels she already knows.
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
Monica: Uhm, she has been showing us houses outside of the city.
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
(she just walks straight into the bathroom)
Chandler: Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go!
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
Ross: (to Rachel, as she gets his number) What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home?
Monica: I know, Amanda! Ah! She called me too! She's the worst!
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Chandler: Okay I promise. Ill-Ill hate it. (She enters.) Wow! You-you look hideous.
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Phoebe: Okay. (she starts to stuff styrofoam peanuts down the front of Joey's pants.)
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Phoebe: I, I have to go before I put your head through a wall. (she leaves)
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
PHOEBE: Hey.� I'll be right back.� I've got to go to the bathroom.� (She rises and exits.)
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
Ross: Rachel!! (she enters) Wow! You, uh, you look, wow!
Joey: Now she sounded breezy.
Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, whered we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.)
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
Luisa: (Out of shot) Here, monkey. Here, monkey! Here, monkey! (Marcel runs to the door and into Luisa's cage, which she slams shut) Gotcha.
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
Monica: Passport, check! (As she puts away each item, she says check.) Camera, check! Travellers cheques, check!
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Monica: Yeah? What does she think of your little science project?
Amy: We’re gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on!
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
[Scene: Rachels office, shes looking at a picture of Tag when he knocks and enters.]
Pete: Could you leave a note? Cause Im on a lot of pain killers now, and I dont know if Ill remember this tomorrow. (She leaves.)
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Monica: She has to know that your not ready.
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
Phoebe: Yeah. Sorry. (she starts to leave)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Realtor: Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. (she leaves the room)
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
Phoebe: Y'know, for once, I am going to sit down and try to watch one of these things. (just as she sits down).
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Phoebe: Unless! She wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me.
Frank: No, she touched mine first!
Phoebe: Yknow she might not even notice hes gone.
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job.
Joey: Maybe she killed him?
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
Phoebe: Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you?
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
(She goes over to the snack table, and Joey quickly runs over and pours her a cup of coffee.)
(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)
Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Phoebe: Hmmm? Yeah. So, um, is she fat?
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I dont know if I want it because it might be yknow, too many memories!