words in movies
CHANDLER: [Joey grabs a frying pan] Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
JOEY: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. CHANDLER: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
MONICA: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like.
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
JOEY: Alright, just one. [she licks his hands rather emphatically] Wow, you're good at that.
JOEY: Hey I- [she cuts him off with a kiss]
JOEY: That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! [she starts nibbling his hand] Hey. He-hey.
ERICA: Ohh, and I see you're having a little party too. Is she here, huh, huh?
SUSIE: I can't do Chris's makeup. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche.
RACHEL: Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute.
RACHEL: Jean-Claude she said yes, I'll see you tonight. Thank you.
JOEY: Oh man, she's so smokin, she has got the greatest set of. . . no guys around, huh.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
SUSIE: Meet me in the bathroom. [she leaves for the bathroom]
[In the bathroom Susie and Chandler are kissing. She backs into a stall.]
[She turns him facing the toilet and sneaks out of the stall and gathers up his clothes.]
SUSIE: Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. [she leaves with his clothes]
RACHEL: OK, you wanna play? OK, let's play, let's play. [She grabs a jar of tomato sauce and Monica's purse]
CHANDLER: Oh, no no no, she took off with my clothes.
Rachel: Oh. (She tries to walk away from Josh, by he keeps holding her) Stop it!
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Monica: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler)
Phoebe: Really? So she said, she didnt wanna live with me anymore?
(She leaves)
(She walks down the hall)
Aunt Lillian: She may have died?
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Chandler: Shes just doing her job!
Katie: No, you make them funny. You're the funny one! (She punches him again and he retreats to the arm of the couch.)
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Ross: Well, okay, what-what did she say?
Rachel: All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though shes still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy.
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Joey: Oh, hey. Come on man, don't look at me like that, she used to drive you nuts before too, remember?
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Monica: People! People say it! Come here! (She grabs him and kisses him.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Rachel: Oh thank you! (Wiping her nose.) Oh God! (She throws it out.) Can I have another one?
Monica: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? Im just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
(She storms off)
Monica: Ooh... she backed out.
Phoebe: Shes made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen.
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Joey: Wait! Wait! Maybe shes a hooker and a stripper, but she got confused about what shes supposed to do.
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
Phoebe: Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...
Rachel: Shell be out in a second. So, Chip, hows umm, Amy Welch?
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Ross: Come here (Removes Emma's hat) Oh! There she is! Hi!
Rachel: I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
[Scene: Elizabeths apartment, she is packing for her trip as Ross watches.]
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Phoebe: Because you'll date her once, sleep with her and then forget she exists!
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)
Joey: How's that different? (She looks at him until he gets it.) Oh! Yeah!
(Monica goes to the door.� Chandler slides behind it as she opens it slightly.)
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
(They look at each other. We switch back to Monica. Chandler opens the door and she turns to look at him.)
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
(She goes into her apartment and sees Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross sitting there.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
(She kisses him passionately,then leaves.)
Joey: Well, not so good. She definitely thinks tonight is the night we're gonna... complete the transaction, if you know what I...
Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.)
Joey: Hey, hey, Chan. She could work for you.
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Ross: Oh! Oh! Shes upside down but shes coming! Shes coming!
Monica: Im fine. (She goes into one of those half sneezing, half-coughing fits that you get with a bad cold or flu.)
Chandler: (to Joey) I wasnt doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
Phoebe: Oh! Oh, I can't believe it! I mean I think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better.
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
(She kisses him, he holds her, and kisses her passionately.)
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, she works over at that place, uh...
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Monica: Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us!
Ross: (she lets him in) Okay! (to her son) Hey Tommy.
Phoebe: Oh thats good, I guess shell have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
Ross: Some would say shes attractive, yes.
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes in her closet bringing down her pair of roller blades from a top shelf.]
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Chandler: Why dont you use ours across the hall, cause she has problems.
Joey: She is so hot!
Joey: I know, but I dont think thats what she wants.
Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?
Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
[Scene: Monica's restaurant, she is getting inspected by the health department, Phoebe is watching.]
Monica: (She gives Joey a you-are-so-stupid-look) Ok, ten.
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Rachel: Whoa! (Laughs) Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. (She punches Katie back.)
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
Rachel: Oh, howd she take it?
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
Ross: Uh, yeah! I still cant believe she hates Pottery Barn!
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Tag: Yeah, so she went back to Ohio.
Monica: You do know that was me who just said that right? (He doesnt respond and she turns on the light, waking him.) Hey. As long as were both up
Monica: Oh yeah, she didnt hire me out of pity, it wasnt so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks Im good.
Rachel: Shes perfect.
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
Phoebe: She seems fine now.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)