words in movies
Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
(She puts her hands over her breasts and indicates that the coworkers boob job resulted in one pointing up and one pointing down with her hands by pointing up with one hand and down with the other.)
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
(He shifts on the couch and a ripping sound emanates from his lower regions, the sound reminds one of a brief explosion of gas. In other words, it sounds like he farted. She has a look of horrific wonderment, wondering "Did he just fart?")
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Joey: Well, I'm justif the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won't know the difference!
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
(He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in disbelief. Monica runs out of the room.)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
(Rachel slowly walks in from her bedroom. She is stunned speechless.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
Ross: Okay. (Swallows hard.) Hop on Gert. (She does and Ross winces in pain.)
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.
Monica: And she wants to go hunting, too!!
Monica: Okay, I got that. Ill escape over there. Ill come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. Its gotRight(She dies.) Well, youre just a little bitch, arent you?
Steve: Oh, OK. (he drops the box on the floor) Oh, sorry. (When she bends down to pick it up he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the cabinet.)
Chandler: Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Ross: What can I do, she doesnt listen to me about renters insurance either.
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free.
PHOEBE: All right. (She takes the phone from Rachel.)� Hello?� Hi.� I'm sorry about her, but she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Phoebe: Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!
Phoebe: She cancelled! My namesake cancelled on me!
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
Dr. Long: Its the babys buttock, shes breech.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joeys.)
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Ross: This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm gonna die alone.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, Im gonna do whatever I can to help this so, Im just gonna yknow, lie it your chair, (She climbs into the chair and drapes her feet over the back of the chair.) Y'know? Yeah, good, Im let gravity yknow, do its jobs.
(She tries, and Ross disappears momentarily. He reappears, standing closer to her.)
(They all rush toward Rachel, who panics and runs away. She runs out of the park and up along the fence, she then comes back into the park and runs past Monica, as she gets to Monica, she throws the ball at Monica, and it hits her in the eye.)
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Rachel: Y'know what Ross? You're not going anywhere. You're gonna sit right here. I'm gonna make you a cup of tea and we're gonna talk this thing whole out. All right? (She goes out to talk to Dave) Hey, Dave!
Chandler: Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)
Chandler: She was.... But y'know what, just in case, maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules.
Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually shes right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi.
Monica: Honey, I dont think thats something we need to worry about! First of all hes-hes never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how shed react.
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach ache, she's in labor.
Chandler: Man, she is really gullible.
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
Phoebe: Um, um. It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, you know.
Monica: She stole my jeans!
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Joshua: Huh. (She starts brushing the lint off and checking him out in the mirror.) Yeah?
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Ross: That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
Mr. Geller: Wait, how do you zoom out? (zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich) There she is.
Rachel: Oh, give me! (opens the box happily, then gets freaked and throws away the box, she and Mon jump up the sofa)
Chandler: Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her!
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and (to Chandler) you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! {she leaves)
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
Rachel: Phoebe? (She turns her head further away.) I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. (Moves over next to her.) You gotta come with me!
Chandler: Oh yeah, there-there she is!
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Phoebe: (in a soothing voice) Great, lets begin. (She starts the massage.) Hows the pressure?
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Sarah: So thats two boxes of the Holiday Macaroons. On behalf of the Brown Birds of America, I salute you. (Does the Brown Bird salute, she blows on a bird call, then holds her hand, palm facing out, next to her face, and then waves it like a bird flapping its wings.)
Rachel: Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants shes always wanted!
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Ross: Hey! All that stuff you said about true love, you were right, I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad! And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana. Ohh, yeah she really wouldve wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was.
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
Chandler: You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she here by the way?
Chandler: She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings.
Monica:: what's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
(Kathy enters (Because shes listed in the credits).)
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.
[Sequence 5: Monica hands the ball off to Phoebe, who runs up field and delivers a fore-arm shiver to Chandler, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells...]
Phoebe: Oh, okay, its the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
Phoebe: (hearing the signal) Im coming! Im coming! (She takes off towards the signal and almost knocks another woman over.)
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Rachel: Just so you know... With us... it's never off the table. (she enters her room and closes the door.)
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?