words in movies
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Phoebe: Look everyone, its the spirit of Thanksgiving!
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and theres the added mystery of who gets who.
Phoebe: Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, its like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, lets trade!
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
Chandler: Op, y'know what though, its kindve a girlie briefcase.
Chandler: Hes really picky about his patients.
Phoebe: Honey, youve got to go. Whats his office number?
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
Phoebe: Yes! Shes very excited about that.
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Ross: Really?! Wow! Thats-thats so nice, what are you gonna get me?
Ross: Oh, thats not true! Ive got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Ross: Joey, the guys your best friend.
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Joey: Yeah! You did! And thats why Im leaving.
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Tim is examining Monica.]
Tim: I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriends.
Monica: (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirates voice) So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
Ross: Hes coming here for Thanksgiving!
Rachel: I know, its sick.
Rachel: Because its Richards son! Its like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!
Phoebe: Yeah, I can see where Id be your best shot but, no. Im sorry, but I think its twisted.
Joey: (coming out of the bathroom) Whats twisted?
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
Joey: Hes fine!
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Monica: And Rachel. (Chandler clears his voice loudly) And thats Chandler.
Tim: Whats
Monica: Umm, well, hes
Joey: Hes doin some thinkin!
Rachel: (Swears in Italian, its the same term used by Joey earlier and Joey nods his approval.)
Monica: See hes nice. Right?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
(Theres a loud knocking.)
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Ross: I dont know what to say, Im sorry. Though, youre not supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) Its like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that.
Monica: I know! I mean its like me and your dad, thats a totally separate thing.
[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. Theres a knock on the door.]
Joey: Ill get it. (Its Kathy.)
Kathy: (sees its Joey) Oh.
Joey: Thats okay. Chandlers the one Im mad at.
Kathy: Why not? Whats going on?
Phoebe: Hes just trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
(After hes gone.)
Monica: Oh, hes catching up to her!
Ross: Hes taking her purse!
Joey: Uhh, thats not them. Im gonna go call the police.
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
[Scene: Erics Apartment, hes opening the door to reveal Phoebe.]
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Aired: 12/12/2002 Written by: Doty Abrams Directed by: Kevin S. Bright Transcribed by: Stephan Hoffmeister
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but shes a tough old bird.
Phoebe: Yeah thats true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer.
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe thats our baby.
Monica: Yeah, let-let-lets pretend thats not true.
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
(Ross finds a clock, sees its almost 8:30, and silently screams.)
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Chandler: No, hes right, Im totally lying.
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Ross: But, what�s great is that you don�t mind talking about it.
Ross: Oh, yeah, yeah that�s Michelle.
Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma�s mother.
Emily: I mean, we know its a bit hasty but, uh, it just feels so right, so
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandlers meeting continues.]
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Phoebe: Hes right though, the 74 is absolute piss.
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Ross: Dont be scared, I-I know it sounds crazy and-and people will say its too soon, but just-just think, think how great it will be.
Phoebe: No! It�s my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it�s a little to soon to show my true colors.
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is natures way of telling you to slow it down.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Rachel: Hey Mon, lets give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Joey: Just now, after acting class. At first I thought she was doing some kind of scene, thats why I let people watch.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
Phoebe: Great! It worked! No ones sad.
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
(We hear Phoebes muffled voice through the ceiling.)
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Rachel: Oh, Ive got big Valentines plans! Ive got my Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy!
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!
Dr. Long: taking a long walk, and then theres the one thats proved most effective: sex.
Dr. Roger: Im sorry sweetie, its the hospital. The food looks great, maybe save me some?
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Joey: Okay, maybe hes not his best friend, but
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, theyre getting ready.]
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Joey: Hey guys! Look whos back! Its Ray-ray!
[Cut back to Rachels date.]
[Scene: Rosss Wedding, continued from last season, the Minister is about to marry Ross and Emily.]
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
Rachel: (Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Monica: Chandler! Hes your father; he should be at the wedding.
Vince: (running over) Whoa! Hey-hey! Whats going on here? Who is this guy?
Monica: Look at me! My big concern is whats real?! (Finally realises) Oh my God. Were really sad, arent we?
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Dina: Loosening the saddle on mothers horse was brilliant Fredrick. And the electric fence, inspired.
Chandler: I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, he is entering out of breath.]