words in movies
Joey: Thursday? But that�s Halloween.
Joey: [It�s just] So spooky, that�s all.
Phoebe: No! It�s my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it�s a little to soon to show my true colors.
Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler�s not here.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it�s legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. (passing the pack) Would you like one?
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
Ken: That�s not true. If you don�t wanna smoke �
[Scene: The Bings�. Monica in bathrobe, merely covered. Someone�s knocking at the door.]
Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat! (It�s obviously Halloween eve, the night of her birthday dinner.)
Phoebe: Ooh, and treat it is. (Monica�s breasts.)
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
Ross: Alright, we�ll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she�s stuck in terrible traffic.
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Rachel: Well, let�s see. The first one is: I don�t want to. And, you know, I�m not going.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Ross: Hey, you only heard Monica�s side of that. That little fatso was a terror.
Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can�t get in there] (?), the baby�s fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell your] story walking. (?)
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Phoebe: One really does have a stick up one�s ass. Doesn�t one?
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Monica: That�s right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel�s.]
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y�you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby�s sleeping.
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there�s a window open, a bird could fly in there.
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that�s true.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there�s still some food left on their place, okay, what�s the restaurant�s policy about people eatin� that?
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
Monica: Oh sure, now you�re Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle�s funeral
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
Chandler: Yeah, let�s celebrate life!
Ross: Great. So let�s get going?
Monica: You know what? Let�s not talk.
Monica: That�s right, I got mine.
Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it�s ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don�t care.
Joey: That�s a great story�can I eat it?
Rachel: N-it wasn�t easy, but it�s your birthday and I did what I got to do.
Phoebe: And that�s Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I�m not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she�s doing at home and I�m being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: �s a good toast.
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Ross: Well, ??? think that�s us?
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Chandler: What�s the matter with me? Why I�m such a girl?
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Ross: You know, I think that�s a good idea�our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y�guys.
Joey: That�s the best birthday ever.
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, shes cooking as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
[Scene: Erics Apartment, hes opening the door to reveal Phoebe.]
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Aired: 12/12/2002 Written by: Doty Abrams Directed by: Kevin S. Bright Transcribed by: Stephan Hoffmeister
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but shes a tough old bird.
Phoebe: Yeah thats true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer.
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe thats our baby.
Monica: Yeah, let-let-lets pretend thats not true.
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
(Ross finds a clock, sees its almost 8:30, and silently screams.)
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Chandler: No, hes right, Im totally lying.
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Ross: But, what�s great is that you don�t mind talking about it.
Ross: Oh, yeah, yeah that�s Michelle.
Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma�s mother.
Emily: I mean, we know its a bit hasty but, uh, it just feels so right, so
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandlers meeting continues.]
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Phoebe: Hes right though, the 74 is absolute piss.
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Ross: Dont be scared, I-I know it sounds crazy and-and people will say its too soon, but just-just think, think how great it will be.
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is natures way of telling you to slow it down.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Rachel: Hey Mon, lets give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Joey: Just now, after acting class. At first I thought she was doing some kind of scene, thats why I let people watch.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
Phoebe: Great! It worked! No ones sad.
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
Ross: Hes coming here for Thanksgiving!
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
(We hear Phoebes muffled voice through the ceiling.)
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Rachel: Oh, Ive got big Valentines plans! Ive got my Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy!
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!
Dr. Long: taking a long walk, and then theres the one thats proved most effective: sex.
Dr. Roger: Im sorry sweetie, its the hospital. The food looks great, maybe save me some?
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Joey: Okay, maybe hes not his best friend, but
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, theyre getting ready.]
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Joey: Hey guys! Look whos back! Its Ray-ray!
[Cut back to Rachels date.]
[Scene: Rosss Wedding, continued from last season, the Minister is about to marry Ross and Emily.]
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
Rachel: (Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you."