words in movies
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, she is frantically working and is handing two finished dishes to a waitress.]
Phoebe: Oh, so you're Monicas boss?
Tim: Actually shes my-my boss. Sous is French for under.
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Phoebe: Well, its no pesto.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, hes working at his computer as his boss, Mr. Franklin, sticks his head in.]
Chandler: Whats funny about that?
Chandler: Hey thats okay. So, where do you want to go?
Chandler: Yeah, he thinks thats my name.
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Chandler: No! That would be so awkward! LookBesides, we work in different departments. Hes on the sixth floor yknow? So he calls me Toby once in a while. Whats the big deal? It could be worse, its not like hes calling me Muriel. (Chandler suddenly freezes into place.)
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Joey's Co-Star: Apparently your brain transplant was not entirely successful. It seems your body is rejecting Jessicas brain.
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Well that sounds simple enough, lets just do that.
Joey's Co-Star: We would, but when we went to exhume Jessicas body, it was gone.
Rachel: Well dontWhat happened to Jessicas body?!
Rachel: Oh! (Motions to Joeys co-star.)
Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks Ill just embarrass him. Yknow, he thinks Im some kind of a soap opera nutWhich Im not! Im not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dogs name is Wally. Well look at that, Im just stroking your arm.
Monica: Because hes terrible! Okay, hes slow, he burns things, last night he lit my pastry chef on fire!
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
Bob: Hey! Hows my pal Toby doing today?
Chandler: But this is eleven. Its almost twice as hard up here.
Chandler: I think its best sir.
Mr. Franklin: (laughs) Thats a good one. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
Phoebe: Okay. But the question is whos gonna go first. Cause whoever goes second is the bitch.
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Chandler: Sure, whats up?
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Ross: Why no, its the opposite of weird. Its-its uh, regular. Its-its uh, its mundane. Its actually uh, a little dull.
Joey: Its no Ukrainian film.
Ross: A date?! Shes-shes got a date?! With who?
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Tim: Its because Im with you.
(Tims beeper goes off and he answers it.)
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Ross: This guy could be my babys stepfather!
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Joey: Thats a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that!
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Joey: I know, but I dont think thats what she wants.
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Joey: Hey, I tell you what. Lets you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on!
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is waiting for Tim who enters.]
Tim: Oh its great! Its great! Thank you so much for introducing us!
Monica: Yeah and-and Im sorry too. But, well I justI like things done a certain way and the chemistrys just not right.
Phoebe: Oh thats good, the chemistry thing for us too.
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
Rachel: Oh its all right. Im guess Im just done with the whole dating thing. Its one more thing in my life thats suddenly completely different. This is hard.
Mona: Hey its Mona! From the wedding.
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Bob is ransacking Chandlers office.]
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Monica: No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-its no big deal, all right, Im-Im cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes!
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
Phoebe: Oh, my new Mom, who-whos a big, fat abandoner! (starts to go upstairs)
Chandler: Okay, listen this really hurts. Lets go.
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Phoebe: But, its not like were losing anything. Y'know?
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Chandler: Hey Joe whats up?
Chandler: What? Thats terrible!
Rachel: Thats right!
Phoebe: Ooh, whos it for?
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Gary: Its candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Bobby: Well its just me and my pal Rooster, the bands name is Numb Nuts.
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, they both enter.]
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Chandler: Thats great!
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Phoebe Sr: Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! Theres Frank. (points to the picture.)
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Chandler: (comforting the duck) Everythings gonna be all right. Okay, Dick?
Chandler: Oh thats too bad.
Lisa: Do I? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, thats your fault. I say.
Chandler: All right, lets play one more hand! One more!
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
Chandler: So shes just waiting over there for ya?
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Rachel: Thats right!
Phoebe: No! No! Look at that! (drags her away from the window) Its a line of ants! Theyre working as a team!
Ross: Its okay, Im ready.
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Emily: No ones ever thrown me a surprise party before!
Joey: Well, when its not right, you know it.
Ross: Its my new apothecary table!
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Ross: Its my joke.
Joey: Lets go watch it at your place.
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Chandler: Thats totally understandable.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are in bed together.]
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats a good idea.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Rachel: All right, thats it, you guys! What happened out there?
Joey: See, now its weird again.
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Rachel: Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.
Chandler: Its yelling bleeding dilating. Oh, the dilating
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Gunther: Thats the whole part?
Ross: Its my joke.
Chandler: Lets have Monica decide.
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
Ross: Its your joke.
Chandler: Oh no, now its not gonna make any sense!
Rachel: Oh, thank you thats very helpful, Im glad you came over.
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Ross: Oh. Whats wrong with Ross?
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: Joey! The vet said its a simple procedure.
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
Phoebe: Its Lafite. The 74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Ross: Whats her last name?
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]