words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital, Ross and Rachel, whos in a wheelchair, are arriving in the waiting room for the maternity ward.]
Ross: Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! (Hes looking at the stirrups on the other bed in the room and Rachel groans. Ross then hops into the bed and puts his legs into the stirrups.) Never done this before.
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Monica: (freaking out) What-what-whats that now?!
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Rachel: Oh, thats veryReally very-very okay.
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
Julie: Have you felt Rachels cervix Ross?
Julie: Well, if you like you can feel Rachels and then feel mine to compare.
Ross: Hi! Im so glad youre here, but its gonna be a while. I-I wished youd called first.
Mrs. Geller: Oh thats all right, Im coming back later with your father.
Ross: Okay, whats up?
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: N-no! Okay? Weve been through this! Were not gonna get married just because shes pregnant, okay?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Rachel: Hes looking at me.
Monica: Well maybe Im ready now. I mean, its a little scary, but maybe its right.
Chandler: What?! Its not right! Were not ready to have a kid now!!
Chandler: Wait a minute, its perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and were in a building thats full of beds!
Monica: And its so clean!!
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Chandler: Okay. Uh, well dim the lights, dim the lights. (He goes to the light switch and finds its not a dimmer switch when he flips the lights off.) Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. (He sprays an aerosol air freshener above her.)
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
Phoebe: No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see whats he like. People tell doctors everything.
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Im not waiting! Im gonna push this baby out! Im doing it! I mean its what? Three centimeters? Thats gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.)
Ross: Actually its more like this. (Pushes her hands to less than an inch apart.)
Woman Giving Birth: (yelling from the hallway) Its coming! Its coming!
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Ross: Um uh Were-were just having this baby together but uh, uh thats all.
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
Joey: He seemed like a stand up guy. Oh, and hes not into anything weird sexually.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Chandler: Thats funny. Does it-does it hurt? Does the labor hurt?
Cliff: No, Im sorry. Its just my foot itches like crazy.
Phoebe: Relax, its not like were forking.
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Cliff: That-thats him! You know him?
Phoebe: Youre right, that was wrong. Im sorry. Im so sorry. Its just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Dr. Long: Its the babys buttock, shes breech.
Dr. Long: Shes gonna be fine. Okay, shes in a more difficult position so youre gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push!
Dr. Long: Rachel youre gonna have to push even harder, nothings happening!
Ross: Hey! Hey! Come on! You can! I know you can do this! Lets go!
Ross: No! Come on letsOne more time! One final push! Ready? 1 2 3! (Rachel pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Ross and knocking him down.)
Ross: Oh! Oh! Shes upside down but shes coming! Shes coming!
Ross: Oh! Oh my God oh! Oh my God shes here.
Ross: Oh shes shes perfect.
Rachel: Oh, shes so tiny. (Starts crying) Whered she go?
Ross: Oh its okay. Theyre just-theyre just wrapping her up.
Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, shes really tiny.
Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, shes looking at me. Hi! I know you.
Dr. Long: Thats fine, for now well just call her Baby Girl Green.
(Ross and Rachel look into each others eyes and kiss.)
Phoebe: Oh, shes so beautiful.
Monica: Oh my God! Shes amazing. Oh, oh Im so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Ross: The doctor says its completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you-youre sleep deprived.
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Monica: Its okay honey, youll find a name.
Chandler: Oh no, its gonna be named after some snack or baked good isnt it?
Monica: Umm, okay. If its a boy its Daniel.
Rachel: And if its a girl?
Monica: Okay. Its Emma.
Monica: Its clearly an Emma.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Ross: Whos this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.)
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Ross: Its its complicated okay?
Phoebe: Yeah thats true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer.
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Rachel: Really its nothing. Im just
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Joey: Hey, listen to me, listen to me you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise thats not gonna happen.
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? Theyre right on that chair under Rosss coat.
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
{Transcribers Note: As with all the cliffhangers, there was no credits scene. There will be a ninth and final season of Friends starting sometime in September. See you then, have a good summer everyone.}
Chandler: (comforting the duck) Everythings gonna be all right. Okay, Dick?
Chandler: Oh thats too bad.
Lisa: Do I? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, thats your fault. I say.
Chandler: All right, lets play one more hand! One more!
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
Chandler: So shes just waiting over there for ya?
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Rachel: Thats right!
Phoebe: No! No! Look at that! (drags her away from the window) Its a line of ants! Theyre working as a team!
Ross: Its okay, Im ready.
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Emily: No ones ever thrown me a surprise party before!
Joey: Well, when its not right, you know it.
Ross: Its my new apothecary table!
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Ross: Its my joke.
Joey: Lets go watch it at your place.
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Chandler: Thats totally understandable.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are in bed together.]
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats a good idea.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Rachel: All right, thats it, you guys! What happened out there?
Joey: See, now its weird again.
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Rachel: Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.
Chandler: Its yelling bleeding dilating. Oh, the dilating
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Gunther: Thats the whole part?
Ross: Its my joke.
Chandler: Lets have Monica decide.
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
Ross: Its your joke.
Chandler: Oh no, now its not gonna make any sense!
Rachel: Oh, thank you thats very helpful, Im glad you came over.
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Ross: Oh. Whats wrong with Ross?
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: Joey! The vet said its a simple procedure.
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
Phoebe: Its Lafite. The 74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Ross: Whats her last name?
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
Joey: Oh, wait-wait! (Reaches into the shower again.) Maybe its a pickle?!
Phoebe: Oh my God, thats so freaky! Turn him off!!
Rachel: Whats up?!
Phoebe: Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Phoebe: Oh my God, look! Thats Elizabeth!
Rachel: Yeah but, hes not your type.
Joey: Its been a while, huh? Wow, its funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
Chandler: Its nice.
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Rachel: Its kinda slutty.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
Chandler: (thinks) Thats the perfect amount!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Ross: Whats a scrud?
Janine: Whats the matter? Are you upset?
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
Rachel: Thats a good story, Grandpa.
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldntso I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! Its like its raining!
Monica: Okay. Lets bring it in.
Monica: Guys, whats going on?
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
Janine: Yeah, thats what I said.
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is changing for the next scene as Kate arrives, carrying her bags.]
Chandler: Theres no back to this couch!
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Phoebe: Oh, this is it. This whats gonna kill me.
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emilys Parents house.
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Chandler: Now, its not wrapped because I just, just finished it.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
(Theres an awkward silence.)
Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesnt call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, yknow just to she whats going on, and, and she says shell call me back, but then she doesnt. Then its over.
Ross: Gimme this. (Grabs the herbalists card and leaves.)
Monica: Oh no! Whats the matter?
Joey: Thats great! That would be great! Lets do that!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]