words in movies
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Phoebe: Oh, its so great to see you feeling like this!
Phoebe: Wait, am I missing something though? Cause I thought death was something thats supposed to be sad, in a way.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
Chandler: Thats the stuff! (quickly grabs it)
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
Chandler: Thanks, its ah, Gaelic, for Thy turkeys done. So ah, Im gonna go, nice, nice meeting you.
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
Rachel: Oh, nothing, hes just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
Rachel: No!! No! Hes not married, or involved, with anyone!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Monica: Look at it! Ohhh! Wallpapers a little faded, thats okay. Carpets a little loose. Hardwood floors!!
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh Monica! Its so beautiful.
Monica: Whats this?
Phoebe: Thats a dog, every house should have a dog.
Phoebe: Well, maybe its so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
Phoebe: No, no, thats the ghost for the attic.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you dont know much about the U.S. government.
Ross: Sure, whats up?
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Woman: Hi, oh, Im Lauren, Kates understudy.
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Ross: Hey, whats this?!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, its the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
Monica: Its very interesting, Phoebe.
Rachel: Whats this?
Chandler: (entering) Hey, my Fathers house does that!
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
Joey: Hey, its gonna be all right.
Kate: Well, Adrians looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor cant just kiss her, hes gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know?
[cut to Joeys bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
Kate: Yeah, thats pretty much what I had in mind.
Ross: Its a little early to be drinkin.
Monica: Youre kidding?! Thats great!
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Chandler: Thats what you say at the end of a date.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
[Scene: Rachels office.]
Sophie: Maybe hes intimated by really smart, strong, successful women.
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Rachel: Thats fine!
Chandler: Thats just a lot of big talk, y'know.
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebes dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
Ross: Oh, fire! There, theres a fire! Fire!!
Kate: Nooo. And theres really no reason he should find out, so ah lets not make a big deal about it, okay?
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
Ross: No Phoebe, dont look! You dont want to see whats under there!!
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
Rachel: Sophies desk.
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Emily: So what are you saying? Its now or never?
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Monica: What I said was, was that I understood. Joeys the one who agreed with you!
[Rosss beeper goes off.]
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Chandler: Thats Thats was
Pete: ...so y'know, thats why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, Wash my car. Clean my room. Its not gonna be able to do any of those things, but itll understand what youre saying.
Fergie: (Yep, Sarah, the Duchess of York) Okay, so umm, whats your friends name?
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: Whos seven?
Phoebe: Ooh, the pizza guys here!
Phoebe: Thats not why youre going! Youre going because you hope hes gonna say, "Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy."
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Ross: Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.
Mrs. Geller: Jack, thats what they call the subway.
Mr. Waltham: Its the Gellers!
Joey: Whats in it?
Ross: whats up, Dad?
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Chandler: Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.
The Saleslady: Yes, whats the name, please?
Rachel: All right, come on, lets go get your coat.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Phoebe: Shes right! You have to stop!
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, heres a thought.
[cut back to Chandler and Joeys.]
Chandler: Thats a low one!
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
Frank: (noticing the puppy) Oh, whos this little guy?! (Grabs the puppy)
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Phoebe: No-no, its okay. But are we sure we dont want the waterbed?
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its the second one.
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Emily: What-whats going on?!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay, that-thats enough! Yknow, lets, lets let someone else play.
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Phoebe: Oh thats so great! Ohh, so whats going on now?
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Chandler: Its the theme from Good Will Humping.
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
Monica: Well, shes not going to find them lying in the grass like that.
Lauren: (at the window, shes looking down out of the window) What do you got down there, Vic? What do you got under that tarp?
Alice: Hi! (She runs over and hugs Phoebes stomach.) So, how did it go at the doctors?
Chandler: Forget it, thats off.
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Monica: Thats true.
Jamie: This could be Gods way of telling us to eat at home.
Rachel: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) Its Phoebe!
Monica: Well, nows a good time. Im on my way to have my ears cut off.
Gunther: Oh thats cool, I was gonna fire you anyway.
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
[Scene: Phoebes, she is coming home. She turns on the lights, and sits down on the couch.]
Phoebe: Well its only like my favorite bay! {Actually, its not bad. It just gets a little cold in winter, but in Wisconsin winter only lasts from August to June. J }
Ross: Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Lets play some ball, guys.
Monica: Ha ha, a joke thats funny in all countries.
Mrs. Waltham: You can forget about Emily, shes not with us.
Emily: Ross umm, theres something that Ive got to tell you, theres-theres someone else.
Chandler: Noo! (takes him out) Oh, its okay, its okay, baby, baby, baby.
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Monica: (laughs) Thats okay.
Ross: Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-its not funny!
Ross: I get it! Well, thats that.
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
(She stares at him and Ross realizes what shes thinking.)
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
Mrs. Waltham: I know, its horrible isnt it?
Monica: Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, its time the velvet ropes came down.
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Rachel: Honey, thats youre name.
Rachel: (sarcastically) No, I did, but tell me again, because its so romantic.
(Chandlers Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Tim is examining Monica.]
Ross: Hey-hey, its valid okay? And Im not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me.
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Rachel: Yeah, come on! Whats going in on in there? (Pats his chest.)
Ross: Whats a koondis?
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Monica: Why? Do you think hes still mad at us?
[Cut to Rachels office as her intercom buzzes.]
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!