words in movies
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Chandler: Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?
Joey: Oh, cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, theres your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)
Chandler: A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
Ross: Besides, theres a big age difference.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Elizabeth: Oh, because I was thinking, the semesters over; youre not my teacher anymore.
Monica: Oh well, its not so bad.
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Chandler: Hows your room Rach?
Rachel: Everythings ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. (Hold it up.)
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Chandler: (on phone) Oh thats great! Good for you.
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Chandler: (giggles) My friends name is Joey.
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Rachel: Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no ones fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident.
Joey: This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)
Phoebe: Whats that smell?
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Ross: Umm, its Cutie McPretty.
Elizabeth: Ohh thats so sweet!
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Fireman #2: No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. Its looks like a curling iron.
Rachel: Well, dont look at me! My hairs straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!
Joey: This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Monica: So its okay to date a student.
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!
Monica: Hey! Hows it goin?
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Chandler: (entering, sees Rachels throw) Ni-hi-ice!
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: No but at Monicas you can eat cookies over the sink!
Phoebe: God, what a mess. (She grabs the bowl and heads for Monicas.)
Elizabeth: For what its worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Elizabeth: Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, its really hot.
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Ross: (feeling it too) No! No! Its wrong! Its-its-its naughty. Its taboo.
Ross: Lets also get a hot plate!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, shes cooking as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
[Scene: Erics Apartment, hes opening the door to reveal Phoebe.]
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Aired: 12/12/2002 Written by: Doty Abrams Directed by: Kevin S. Bright Transcribed by: Stephan Hoffmeister
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but shes a tough old bird.
Phoebe: Yeah thats true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer.
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe thats our baby.
Monica: Yeah, let-let-lets pretend thats not true.
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
(Ross finds a clock, sees its almost 8:30, and silently screams.)
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Chandler: No, hes right, Im totally lying.
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Ross: But, what�s great is that you don�t mind talking about it.
Ross: Oh, yeah, yeah that�s Michelle.
Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma�s mother.
Emily: I mean, we know its a bit hasty but, uh, it just feels so right, so
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandlers meeting continues.]
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Phoebe: Hes right though, the 74 is absolute piss.
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Ross: Dont be scared, I-I know it sounds crazy and-and people will say its too soon, but just-just think, think how great it will be.
Phoebe: No! It�s my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it�s a little to soon to show my true colors.
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is natures way of telling you to slow it down.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Rachel: Hey Mon, lets give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Joey: Just now, after acting class. At first I thought she was doing some kind of scene, thats why I let people watch.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
Phoebe: Great! It worked! No ones sad.
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
Ross: Hes coming here for Thanksgiving!
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
(We hear Phoebes muffled voice through the ceiling.)
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Rachel: Oh, Ive got big Valentines plans! Ive got my Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy!
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!
Dr. Long: taking a long walk, and then theres the one thats proved most effective: sex.
Dr. Roger: Im sorry sweetie, its the hospital. The food looks great, maybe save me some?
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Joey: Okay, maybe hes not his best friend, but
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, theyre getting ready.]
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Joey: Hey guys! Look whos back! Its Ray-ray!
[Cut back to Rachels date.]
[Scene: Rosss Wedding, continued from last season, the Minister is about to marry Ross and Emily.]
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.