words in movies
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. Its not just about the pictures.
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Ross: (showing them the page) Here, check it out. Its the first one, too.
(They all laugh indifferently, except Chandler, whos a little angry.)
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
Chandler: Its my joke.
Ross: Its my joke.
[Scene: Joeys apartment, Joey is sitting at the counter as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Lets go watch it at your place.
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Monica: Well, shes not going to find them lying in the grass like that.
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are in bed together.]
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Monica: Thats a good idea.
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Chandler: Maybe its the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.
Monica: Its coming from the living room.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Joey: See, now its weird again.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Joey: Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Yknow? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. Its all about turnover.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Joey: Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.
Gunther: Thats the whole part?
Joey: Okay, maybe hes not his best friend, but
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Ross: Its my joke.
Chandler: Its my joke.
Ross and Chandler: Its my joke.
Chandler: Lets have Monica decide.
Ross: Yeah, but Im your brother. Were family. Thats the most important thing in the world.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Ross: Its your joke.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
Joey: Thats great. Thanks Rach.
Rachel: Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Mona: No-no thats a mans shirt.
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Ross: Heres your girlfriends button. (Holding the button.)
Monica: (lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and found Greg and Jennys number which Monica has just dialed.]
[Scene: Mr. Zelners Office, Rachel is knocking on the door.]
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Joey: Hey youre right. Yeah, its kinda been like us again a little bit.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, hes snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.]
Joey: So, whos the guy?
Chandler: Its a dog.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Student: Yeah, its the new building on Avenue A.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Eric: Cause the sweats getting in my eyes and its burning.
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Rachel: Oh yeah. Thats a great story.
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Mona's Date: Its awfully pink. (Ross mouths, "Its salmon!")
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
Phoebe: Yeah, its for our catering business!
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Parker: Im sorry thats who I am. Im a positive person.
Chandler: Yes, you got something from the Screen Actors Guild.
Ross: What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joeys standing.)
Monica: Yeah. And yknow, if you wanna cry, thats okay too.
Joey: All right look, yknow how-yknow how when youre dating someone and you dont want to cheat on them, unless its with someone really hot?
Ross: Right. Okay, lets play. Lets go.
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Monica: Whos David Lynn?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Monica: (interrupting) I love it! Its huge!! Lets open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is playing fetch with the dog.]
Phoebe: Then its really too bad that you cant tell me.
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Well that sounds simple enough, lets just do that.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Rachel: Uh! Its horrible!
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Cecilia: Im supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but thats not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Aunt Lisa: So, hows married life treating you?
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Monica: Lets take a walk. (They start to leave.) Yknow maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)
Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Phoebe: No, thats not necessary.
Chandler: Thats great.
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Rachel: Honey, its so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I cant do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Trudie Styler: Oh Im sorry, Jacks father is not available.
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! Thats what I did to the kids in my building!
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Monica: Shes still mad.
Rachel: No-no, its really not huge.
Doug: BingWhats this?! (Grabs his hand.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Rachel: (holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think hes bored.
Woman: Its a diaper genie.
Woman: Its actually a bassinet.
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Its not looking good.
Phoebe: No, its positive.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Ross: Thats my gym.
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is not doing the dishes. She hears someone coming up the stairs and quickly puts down her magazine and pretends like shes actually doing the dishes.]