words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Ross: Thats right, I love you! And-and Im gonna play with you all the time.
Rachel: (pause) Hes talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, shes really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, yknow, to give her some advice.
Joey: Great! Thanks! Youre gonna love her so much. AndOh, shes the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, yknow the S.A.Ts?
Ross: Yeah I know; hes in Bens class.
Phoebe: Stings son, seven years old and theres a picture.
Phoebe: No, its New York magazine. Its an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
Phoebe: There you go! Oh, you are so lucky! You might actually get to meet Sting tomorrow! Thats why you have kids!
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Ross: Well it turns out that Ben and Stings son do not get along.
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Ross: Playpen?! Bens seven!
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Ross: Look Phoebe, Im sorry its just
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey has brought Dina to meet with Rachel.]
Dina: Thanks so much for meetin with me. Joeys told me so much about you!
Rachel: Okay. All right Dina, well lets talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Lets see, theres design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, theres-theres sales, which is great because you get to travel
Rachel: (stunned) And theres marketing
Chandler: (opening the door) Whats wrong?
Rachel: Honey, its going to be okay. Hes been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; thats what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Joey: Hey! Its my fashion girls! (They dont react.) Whats wrong?
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Rachel: Joey theres something that you should know. Dina?
Dina: Bobby Corso, but hes a real nice guy. I like him a lot. Hes real funny.
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Ben: Jack? I hate him! Hes a jerk.
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
The Teacher: Are you one of Bens mothers?
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Phoebe: Yeah! Lets do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Chandler: So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause) Its oddly unsettling.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
[Scene: Stings Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for Stings wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Trudie Styler: Hi! (By the way, its actually her.)
Trudie Styler: You must be Bens mum.
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
Phoebe: Umm, Im sorry. Wont-wont Jacks father be joining us?
Trudie Styler: Oh Im sorry, Jacks father is not available.
Trudie Styler: Oh no, I know that wouldnt work. My husbands in concert.
Phoebe: Concert. Yeah. That does put us in quite a pickle. Because you see Im very busy before and after the concert, and hes obviously busy during.
Phoebe: Oh good! Then youre in luck! Bens not my son!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are still discussing Bobby and Dinas situation.]
Joey: Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Lets hear their plan! Now, whats the future look like for Dina and Bobby?
Bobby: Well its just me and my pal Rooster, the bands name is Numb Nuts.
Joey: Dina, if youre having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, thats not a compliment!
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Joey: Of course hes gonna have his Uncle Joey!
Joey: Thats right! By his uncle too!
Rachel: No! Seriously! Whats wrong with you?!
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
Phoebe: Okay, now would you say that thats more than 50 yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?
Phoebe: Then thats not breaking the law! Im there!
Rachel: (sees Chips phone number) Wow! Look at that, Chip Matthews called. I wonder what he wants?
Ross: Its a clown kit! Clown kit!
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Monica: Thats Will from high school!
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
Ben: Whens my daddy coming back?
Monica: Passport, check! (As she puts away each item, she says check.) Camera, check! Travellers cheques, check!
Vince: No-no its okay. Its just that ah, I thought we had something pretty special here. And y'know I-I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to, and (starts choking up) That theres so much in me I have to share with you yet.
Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Lets do it!
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Ross: Hi! Im so glad youre here, but its gonna be a while. I-I wished youd called first.
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there]
Monica: Hes with Emily at a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont!
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
(They all try and shake hands at once. They end up criss-crossing theyre arms to shake each others hand, and Ross says )
Phoebe: Yeah, no, Ralph doesnt look anything like that guy. Hes-hes young and hes got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
[Scene, Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is there. Everything is out of its place and Chandler's cleaning.]
Joey: Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe thats one thing you can cross off your list.
Monica: Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right heres the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere
Chandler: Well, its because I trust you, youre one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures.
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
Rachel: Wh-whats that?
Russell: (Rosss divorce lawyer.) Hello, is Ross there?
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Chandler: Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Monica: Wait. Rachel, no, hes married. Married! If you dont realize that, I cant help you.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. Hes on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. Its watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. Its not just about the pictures.
Joey: My whole familys from Naples!
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Phoebe: (Smiling blankly) Right, and its me.
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
[Ross tries to start the truck, and discovers the batterys dead.]
Clerk: Eight oclock is the cut-off and, (looks at his watch) aww, its 8:02.
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: Hes right, what she did was unforgivable.
Woman On Train: Oh, no. But its just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
The A.D: Theres no way he smells, hes the only one around here with a shower in his dressing room.
Monica: (noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
Joey: Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, its like a law!
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Phoebe: Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and waters fine.
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Chandler: This is ridiculous, hes not gonna hold his breath (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
Phoebe: Im, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdales and use the copy machine.
Gunther: (placing a cup in front of Ross) Heres your warm milk.
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
Joey: Oh come on man, you can dance with my partner, shes real, uh, mellow!
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
Ross: No-no, one daddy, two mommies. All right, its all yours. (Ross pushes him off.)
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Oh, its not just that, I would be Englands most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majestys secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. (Worried.) Would Monica let me wear this?
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heavens name are you doing here?
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey paces the floor waiting for Janine. She walks in.]
Part 1 written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part 2 written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Directed by: Kevin S. Bright Transcribed by: Andreina, Eleonora, Pheeboh, Sebastiano & Vanessa
Joey: So I got your car, its right outside.
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Joey: And he never played before either! Yknow what I think? I think beginners luck, very important in Cups.
Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, its because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!
Rachel: Three people. Joshuas not gonna be there.
Ross: Oh the bands ready! And wellI-Iwe gotta do what the band says, right? I dont care about the stinkin band!!
Joey: All right thats it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the door.)
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
Joey: And thats just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Joey: Its hard, y'know, his huddle is closer to Dutch girl.
Rachel: You had no right coming down to my office Ross. You do not bring a picnic basket to somebodys work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger!