words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross is in the living room covering Emma.� Rachel enters wearing a sexy dress.]
ROSS: Wow!� (pause)� Wow, You look . . . uh . . .�� It's just, ah . . .�� That dress . . . uh . . .�
ROSS: Well, well, they're good.� It's been a while since I've seen you like this.� You, you clean up good.
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
ROSS: Oh, it's fine.� Actually, I, I invited Mike over.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
ROSS: I don't know.� But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know.� He plays piano; I played keyboards in college.� He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area.
RACHEL: (to Ross) Ok.� So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . .
ROSS: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right?� You go have fun.
ROSS: So . . .� Welcome.
ROSS: I got bottled breast milk.
ROSS: Okay.� (They sit.)� So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano.
ROSS: You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced.� Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced?
ROSS: (pause) That's okay.� We'll talk about (pause) something else.� (They pause.� They drink.)
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Ah?� (Mike nods.� Another pause.)� Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle.� Ross stares off to the side.)
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
ROSS: I do.� I do.� Although, it's actually a lager.
ROSS: I don't know.� We could look it up.
PHOEBE: Oh God.� Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross?
PHOEBE: I know.� (sighs)�� So, what's going on with you and Ross?
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
PHOEBE: What about Ross?� What about your moment?� Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?
RACHEL: No.� No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go.� "Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before."
RACHEL: (lowers voice to imitate Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat.)� "Me too."
RACHEL: (as Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat twice.) "Me neither." (Clears throat again.)
RACHEL: (as Ross) "Yeah.� That works for me." (Clears throat twice more.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, I see what you mean.� By the way, nice Ross imitation.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
PHOEBE: Really?� You're moving on from Ross?
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross and Mike are sitting on the sofa.� Ross is fidgeting with the cuff of his sweater while Mike blows his cheeks out.� Ross blows a piece of fuzz from his finger.)
ROSS: So soon?
ROSS: Okay.� Well, thanks, ah, thanks for the beer.
ROSS: Ah yeah.� Good times.
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
(Ross, inside the door, releases a sign of relief.� Back in the hall, Mike's cell phone rings.)
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
(Mike knocks on Ross's door.� Ross opens it.)
ROSS: Uh, hi.
ROSS: (putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.)� Why?� (He starts to lower his arm.)
ROSS: (whining) But you left.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is reading from a book.]
ROSS: Maybe you should look up "fascinating."
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
ROSS: (takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Rachel and Phoebe enter.)
ROSS: Oh God.� (He hugs Rachel)
ROSS: Oh, you know . . . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.
ROSS: Rachel, lock the door.� Lock the door,� seriously.
(Inside the apartment the phone rings.� Ross answers it.)
ROSS: Hello.� (listens)� Ah, no, she's not here right now.� Can I take a message?� (grabs a pad and pen)� Bill from the bar?� (writes)� Okay, "Bill from the bar."� I'll make sure she gets your number.
ROSS: So, ah . . . So, how was it?�� Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?
ROSS: (holds up the message) Uh, Rach.
ROSS: (pauses, then crunches up the note and stuffs it in his pocket.)� Never mind.
[Tag Scene: Central Perk.� Phoebe and Mike are on the sofa.� Ross enters.]
ROSS: Hey you guys.� (He sits.)
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
(Ross smiles slightly.� Then he gives a single nod that lifts him to his feet.� He exits the coffee shop.
Joey: Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: Wha... (gasps) What? What would give you that idea?
Ross: Thanks!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Ah, yeah. We had a really good talk.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Ross: (gasps) OH NO!
Ross: (unpacking his bag) Okay, shoot!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Ross: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying?
Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy.
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
Ross: Duh, you think? (enters the kitchen)
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Joey: Ross?
Ross: So you two are..?
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything.
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
Joey: Ross..
Ross: Hey, you gotta get Mom on the phone. Call Mom! Call Mom!
Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon...
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Ross: Oh, I'm no actor, I'm a professor of palaeontology.
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Ross: Look, I dont feel like dancing, I feel like having a drink. Okay?
Prof. Sherman: (confused) You're welcome. (Ross hugs him again)
Ross: My fajitas!!
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
[Scene: Rosss office, hes unlocking his office door as Elizabeth walks up.]
Ross: What you got over there? Tacos?
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
Ross: No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.
Ross: Totally.
Ross: No!
ROSS: Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?
Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.
Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
Ross: Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more
Ross: Okay.
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
Ross: I don't even know what that's for.
Ross: And have you .. ed?
Ross: Thanks. Did you stay here all night?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Joey.
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure.
Ross: Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Ross: Let's celebrate with some maple candy!
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW!
Ross: Well, how about this year, instead of Santa, we have fun celebrating Hanukkah?
Ross: Eh, you got a spray-on tan?
Ross: I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan?
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Ross are exiting a pizza place.]
Ross: Well... I like how you look, what are you?
Ross: Two, I think a two.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Ross: Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat.
Ross: You sprayed my front twice!
Ross: (sarcastically) Really!
Ross: I'm a four?
Ross: (annoyed) Ok!
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: (Still yelling) I Know!
Ross: No! I balanced my checkbook.
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH!
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)