words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey! (Sees Ross is there) Oh, good, Ross! Youre parents like me, right?
Ross: (only half-paying attention) Yes, of course they like you!
Ross: (not paying attention) Yeah, they dont like you.
Ross: I dunno, maybe its because youre really sarcastic. Or maybe its cause you uh-
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
[Joey and Ross drop their video game controllers.]
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Ross: For real?
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
[Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey and Ross: Hey!
Ross: And the place looks so nice!
Ross: Happy Thanksgiving!
Ross: See ya!
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Ross: Some would say shes attractive, yes.
Ross: (to Joey) Dude, we were good!
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what is it?
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.
Ross: Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way!
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Ross: Oh my God, the pages are stuck together!
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Ross: No, no, we will. We just wont tell her she messed up.
Ross: Yeah, itll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: Okay, I think I might know why my parents dont like you.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
Ross: Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Ross: Okay, fine!
[Ross gets up to go tell his parents.]
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
[Ross makes a sorry face.]
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
Ross: Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
Ross: And um...You look nice today.
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
Ross: What?
Ross: (shocked) Eh?
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Ross: (cutting her off) Youre alone.
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
[Ross and Rachel re-enter.]
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
[Ross glares at Monica.]
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Ross: Are you kidding?
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Ross: Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
Ross: Wha-what?
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Monica: And Dad, yknow that mailman that you got fired? He didnt steal your Playboys! Ross did!
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didnt break the porch swing, Monica did!
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Ross: I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
RUSS: [sounding like Ross] Hhhhiiiii.
ROSS: Ugh. It's definitely getting worse.
ROSS: Good for you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is opening the door to Monica.]
ROSS: With mealworms.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
ROSS: Huh?
ROSS: How'd the callback go?
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is getting help writing his vows from Joey and Ross.]
Rachel: No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
ROSS: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
ROSS: [being drawn in by her talk] Uh-huh.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
ROSS: What happened?
Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
ROSS: What?
Ross: Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? (showing the bottle) Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Ross: Thats funny. Yeah. Yknow youre the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.
ROSS: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Ross: Well, I... I am having a good hair day.
Ross: (not turning around) Chandler. I sensed it was you.
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Ross: Phoebs, It's open! It's open!
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y...
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
Ross: No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.
ROSS: But, you are.
ROSS: I was saving you.
ROSS: No, but. . .
ROSS: Well, but, but. . .
ROSS: Uh, uh, well you're, umm, you're my lobster.
ROSS: Oh.
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
Ross: (jumping away) That would be no.
ROSS: Hey guys.
JULIE: Yeah, we figure it'll live with Ross half the time, and with me half the time.
Ross: Well thats different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet.
Ross: Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you.
Ross: (talking agitated and angry) Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things.
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. And you are a....
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
Ross: Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love.
ROSS: [Rachel enters] Oh.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
ROSS: Hi.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
ROSS: this summer?
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
ROSS: Yeah, well.
Joey: Its Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
Ross: Okay. (goes out onto the balcony)
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
ROSS: Bye guys.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
[ROss approaches Rachel at counter.]
Monica: (to Ross)So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks?
Ross: Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyers office all I could hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Look, I just dont want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces.
ROSS: Oh.
ROSS: Hey, someone order a coat?
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
Joey, Chander, and Ross: Sorry.
ROSS: What, what.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
ROSS: And that's, that's funny why?
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
ROSS: That's romantic.
[Ross enters]