words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Ross: But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles.
Ross: Please don't take her away from me!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh?
Ross: You sang Baby Got Back didn't you?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Ross: She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Hell yeah!
Ross: Shake it!
Ross: Shake it!
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you know I'm i'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Ross: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box.
Ross: All right I guess I'm, gonna go pack. (Starts to leave)
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: Okay, fine!
Ross: What?
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
ROSS: Hey you. [they stand together in front of the TV.]
Ross: And um...You look nice today.
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Ross: (shocked) Eh?
ROSS: Oh, I promise, what.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross is having lunch with his father who is examining his next forkful.]
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Ross: Are you kidding?
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Ross: (To Joey) So, you-you think I should go ahead and take this place?
Joey: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!
Ross: This guy could be my babys stepfather!
Ross: Hey
(Ross enters)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross and Phoebe have been banished to Ross's place.]
Ross: Wow, Monicas letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone rings.]
Ross: Hi Janine!
Ross: Im sorry you lost your money, but I won it fair and square.
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: I dont know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Ross: Bye Janine!
Ross: Come on, Pheebs lay off him.
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: It was a dry day.
Ross: Come on, would you grow up? Its no big deal.
Ross: Got it!
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
RACH: Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Hey, I'm more cop than you two!
Ross: I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen.
Ross: We know!
Ross: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Peach pit.
Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?
Ross: Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way!
Ross: The routine!
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
ROSS: [doorbell buzzes] That's, that's Julie. Ju... Julie, Julie. [talks on intercom] Hi Julie.
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
Ross: No!
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Ross: Okay, I'm the baby. (Points at his eye.)
Ross: Really. It's always been you, Rach.
Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?
Ross: All right, it's time for the story of Hanukkah. Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees.
Caitlin: I'm gonna try. (Walks away and Ross closes the door.)
Ross: Uh, oh-ho bye.
Ross: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab.
Rachel: (laughs) I cannot believe Ross is buying this!
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What kind of problem?
Ross: You kissed her.
Ross: Please, he refers to me as wethead.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Ross: Why does anyone have to be naked?
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Ross: All right, see you guys. (starts to leave)
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
(Ross and Julie exit)
Ross: Yeah. You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: You like it?
Ross: Well, Im not going to go now anyway (he goes to sit down).
Ross: Why did you do that?