words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
Prospective nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.)
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that.
Rachel: Okidoki! (and she slams the door in the nanny's face while Ross crumples up the application form) Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny.
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Rachel: Okay... (Ross opens the door.)
Ross: And she's a little mannish...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. They're interviewing Sandy.]
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: (skeptic) So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny?
Ross: (on a yeah, right tone) Okay.
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)
Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!
Ross: Because, it's weird!
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Ross: King?
Rachel: (whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a "whatever" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired.
Ross: You gotta be at least bi...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs]
Rachel: (in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi...
Ross: (very worried) Is everything allright?
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: Yeah! (to Sandy) Excuse me... (She walks to the kitchen with Ross and sighs)
Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Rachel: Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all.
Ross: (picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie)
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Ross: Hey... there's sensitive... and there is too sensitive.
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen and Ross enters.]
Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: ...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence?
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Science...? Academia...? Being a good father...?
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Chandler: So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS? (Joey and Ross walk away from the kitchen)
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Ross: Yep! That's my thing...
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
Ross: Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice.
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
Ross: Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets?
Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross)
Ross: (shakes his head) Oh my God!
Sandy: Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... (Ross goes to the kitchen)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.]
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross...
Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...
Ross: Thank you!
Rachel: Well, you're the one who wants to fire him, so you're gonna have to do it. (Ross walks to the living room determined to fire Sandy)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]
Ross: Here goes...
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.
Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Ross: Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.
Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.
Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts his head)
Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
Ross: Why... I... I don't know. (Sandy tilts his head again) Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father?
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Ross: I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive.
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Ross: Here come some more...
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
Ross: Rachel, come on. Give us a chance.
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Ross: Oh, come on! Rach, it's-it's not that bad.
Phoebe: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here!
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Ross: (runs out of cards) We need more cards.
Ross: (glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.
Ross: All right, Ill do it.
Ross: She does want to.
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
Ross: Look, we do not repel women OK? That is completely untrue.
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Ross: Its my new apothecary table!
Ross: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly)
Ross: What?
Ross: What?
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Ross: Hey, tell Dan, Thanks.
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Ross: Its my joke.
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Dr. Leedbetter: Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, and the girls are dividing some Chinese takeout, while the sitcom Family Matters is playing on the TV.]
Ross: Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff?
Ross: So, Rach, y'know-y'know how Emily's coming right?
Ross: Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ...
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Phoebe: Ross, where did you get this?!
Ross: Okay, you go grab it!
Ross: Emily's cousin kicked me out!
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
(Ross begins to say something, realizes what Gunther just said, turns, and glares at Chandler. Chandler just shrugs it off.)
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Ross: Fine, Im mentally unstable.
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Ross: Dude, what am I gonna
Ross: Wow! I didnt know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.
Ross: Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Its my joke.
ROSS: Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'?
Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don't live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What's a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross)
Ross: Hey Mon.
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Ross: Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Ross: Its your joke.
Ross: Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Ross: No way.
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
(Joey, Chandler and Ross enter.)
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Ross: Hey!
ROSS: Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him.
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)
Ross: Hi Jill.
Ross: No! No sir umm, she means a lot to me. I mean, I careI-I love Rachel.
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
Ross: Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? (Russell glares at him.) I will think about the therapy.
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
Ross: Yeah, I want my money back.
Ross: Your good friend?
Ross: Whats her last name?
Ross: So really, what'd ya have?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Phoebe and Ross: Yeah, we went shopping!
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
Ross: Yeah! Oh, I-I love this babies!
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Ross: Well. Hey
Ross: Ross, wants a pajmena?
Ross: Oh stop.
Ross: No, you stop!
Rachel: Ross, it's too hard.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Rachel: With Ross and my sister?
Rachel: With Ross and Jill?