words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and a beautiful blonde (Cheryl) are standing outside. The rest of the gang is watching from inside.]
Ross: You're welcome for a delicious dinner.
Chandler: Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
[Cheryl walks away and Ross walks inside. Everyone stares at him in disbelief.]
Ross: I know!
Ross: Actually she's a paleontology doctoral candidate, specializing in the centazoic era.
Ross: I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.
Ross: Fine by me; hope she wins.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
[Scene: Outside Cheryl's apartment, Ross and Cheryl are kissing]
Ross: (moved by the kiss) Huh...
Ross: Did homo-erectus hunt with wooden tools?
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
Ross: Mitzi is.....
Ross: (mouths "where?") Uh... Oh hey, do you, uh (steps on some garbage and falters) ...do you have any, um, Cinnamon Fruit Toasties?
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
Ross: Oh, yeah, why not?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
Ross: You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day?
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Ross: I don't know. Soap?
Joey: All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, okay you're right.
Ross: I mean, uh, who... who cares about a little sloppiness?
Ross: It's, uh... it's endearing, really.
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Ross: (mustering up courage) Yes. Yes I do. (They go inside.)
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Cheryl: (sneaking up behind Ross) Guess who?
Ross: Department of Sanitation?
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
Ross: (trying to make his disgust into lust) Ah, Cheryl!
Cheryl: Oh, Ross!
[They sit up, moaning in excitement, and Cheryl straddles Ross. Ross finds a slice of bologna and moans higher and louder, then a bag of potato chips on the coffee table starts to move. Ross throws Cheryl off his lap, grabs a tennis racket and a toilet brush and starts pounding the bag.]
Ross: Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Cheryl. I must have freaked out.
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
Ross: Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]
Ross: Hello to the rest.
Ross: (enters) Hi, honey.
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
Ross: How's the hair?
Ross: Long story, honey.
Ross: What difference does that make?!
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Ross: Hey! (congratulates him)
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
Ross: No!
Ross: (overhearing) What kind of research?
Ross: It's breast milk.
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so.
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
(They both laugh as Ross heads back to the bathroom.)
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Ross: Yeah I know; hes in Bens class.
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
Ross: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Ross: Well, yeah. I cant-I cant stay here all night, and if I go in there shes-shes gonna wanna... do stuff.
Ross: Rachel, Ive seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is holding Ben.]
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
ROSS: [smells Ben's butt] No no, you're fine, you're fine.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Well, there you go.
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.
Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house!
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
ROSS: You remember Janice, right?
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Ross: Well, uh, do you have a Santa-outfit left?
ROSS: What?
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
Ross: Ahem... I want.... OK, I want to... feel your... hot, soft skin with my lips.
Ross: Yeah, you're right, thanks Pheebs, I'm gonna go find her.
Ross: Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds do-able. (starts to get out his wallet) How much are the boxes?
Ross: Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.
Ross: No, no, no. I'm not in the zone.
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
ROSS: You comin'?
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Ross: No. No, uh, Phoebs? You can'tyou can't do...
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Ross: Chandler, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? (As he picks up the fake Ben.)
Ross: All right. (Gets up.) I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Rachel: Uh, yeah. Uh, Monica, y'know, honey, I've been thinking about it and I've decided thisthis whole Ross thing, it's just not a good idea.
ROSS: Whip it out, whip it out.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like?
Ross: J-j-just relax, nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure that you were getting better.
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game?
Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! Howd the conversation go?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Hey?
Ross: Anyone else? Huh? Bring em on!
Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?
[Ross kicks her again]
[Scene: Ralph Lauren. Mr Zelner's office. Ross knocks on the door and enters.]
ROSS: What?
ROSS: Technically, huh, no.
ROSS: Sexy?
ROSS: No kidding?
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: What?
ROSS: You'd wait?
Ross: Nobody likes change.
ROSS: Women really want this?
Ross: Do you think if the Ralph Lauren people offered her her old job back, she would take it?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross enters and checks his messages.]
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
ROSS: Hi everyone.
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
ROSS: What's wrong with people having sex?
Monica: Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?
ROSS: Pop it in.
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.