words in movies
Joey: We know its Ross!
Rachel: Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but Im so relieved you guys know.
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: No why?
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Ross: Oh no.
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Ross: Well, we-we said wed just do it that one time but, but now I think she may wanna start things up again.
Ross: Why? What-what else could it be?
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Ross: Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first.
Ross: Okay. (He sits her down in a chair.) Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Thats been one heck of a see-saw hasnt it?
Ross: I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and and certainly passionate, but dont you think its better if we just stayed friends?
Ross: Okay. Okay. Yknow what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean Id-Id be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.
Ross: Oh sure. (He sits on the apothecary table and touches her hand.)
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: Im good. Im good.
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
Ross: Yeah, I need uh Im justI dont knowI dont understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Ross: No they dont!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!!
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, Im not freaked out! Im indignant! As a consumer!
Ross: No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? IIn fact, (picks up the phone) I am going to talk to the president of the condom company!
Ross: (grabs her) Shh! Shh! Shh!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Sure.
Ross: Namaste. (Bows.)
(Treeger leaves and Ross notices the door.)
Ross: Oh my God! What happened to the door?!
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Ross: With my child.
Ross: You already know dont you?
Ross: Okay. Okay. I mean Ill be okay. Its just I dont think I handled it very well.
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Phoebe: Oh Ross.
Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
Ross: I gotta go find her.
Ross: Evidently they do.
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Uh we-we need to talk.
Ross: Please, please I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today.
Rachel: Okay Ross thats fine, but can you please stand near my head?
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Rachel: Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Ross: Well yeah, I think we should get married.
Ross: No, because thats the right thing to do.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Ross: No but but still you cant possibly do this alone.
Ross: Come on Rach, you cant even eat alone in a restaurant.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Ross: When have you ever?
Ross: Well certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup!
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
Ross: But not the husband, because evidently she can do this alone.
Ross: (To Rachel, standing by her feet) I dont know why you cant admit that you need me.
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Pretty amazing huh?
Ross: What? What?!
Ross: You-you just said that you did!
Ross: Oh sure, come here! (Sits her up) Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, (rolls the machine closer) its-its-its, its right there (Points).
Ross: Do you really?
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Ross: Sweetie thats it.
Ross: Youre welcome.
Ross: Yeah, thats our baby.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Ross: Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Ross: Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her.
Ross: Yeah.
(They kiss. Ross walks away, and then fades out.)
Ross: Huh... huh... what a loser! Some more wine? (takes the half-full glasses and goes to the counter)
Ross: Hmm?
Joey: Hey-hey, Ross?
Ross: Well Mr. Big Shot is better than wethead.
Monica: (takes the phone from Ross) Come on. (Answering phone) Hello? (Listens) Im sorry you have the wrong number. (Listens) (Whispering) Okay, Ill call you later dad. I love you. (Hangs up.)
ROSS: Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Ross: Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn...
ROSS: Hootie and the--oh my. I, I can catch them on the radio.
[Ross enters behind Rachel, and look at each other for a moment.]
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Ross: Hey, would you ah, would you like some juice?
Ross: (entering) Hey! Everyone.
ROSS: Well maybe, you know, maybe we should stay for one song.
Ross: Hows my little boy?
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
ROSS: No, he's at uh, Carol's and Susan's today.
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
Ross: Monica did it?
Ross: Monica?
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Ross: (pauses) I'm pretty sure that it is...
Ross: I'm having... I'm having a baby. (jumps back onto the table again) I'm having a... Where's the phone? The phone?
Ross: That's, that's funny. Change!
PHOEBE: Yes, yes, and it's, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice, you know? God, and it's not like we can say anything about it, 'cause, like this birthday thing, it's for Ross.
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Ross: I dont know! I guess I just cant believe any of this is happening.
Ross: Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but Im not invited to sleep-overs.
Rachel: But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Ross: Halftime.
Rachel: Lets do it! Ross?
Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Ross: What?
Monica and Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (drags Chandler over to buffet table) Im telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viscously screamed at total strangers! I think hes baaad news!
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Ross: What about the time I said we were on a break?
Ross: Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, yknow? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him.
Ross: All right, were gonna play.
Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.
Ross: Here you go. (throws her the ball)
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: Sweetie, now I pick you.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
(At this moment Rachel bursts through the door. Needless to say, shes not in the best of moods having just found out Rosss dirty little secret.)
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Ross: (He opens the door while faking a laugh.) Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. (Monica turns her head in shame.)
Ross: Oww!! Son of a...!! Ow! Come on!
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
Ross: Come on, lets go!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: You, you go long.
Ross: Until we start to look very small.
Ross: Break!!
Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)
Ross: Wow!
[cut to Ross and Monica.]
Ross: Uh, hello, its third down.
(Ross and Chandler move closer to her and she starts laughing again.)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Ross: Yeah.
ROSS: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Ross: (browsing the brochure) I guess...It still seems a little...(enthusiastically) moonlight boat ride!!
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
Ross: Well ah, you wanna just stay out there?
ROSS: What, what oh....[Ross and Rachel go into her room]
Chandler: Maybe its the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross is on the phone.]
Ross: Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone.
Ross: Im not proving anything. Okay, Im done listening to you. If I hadnt let you talk me into going to the airport in the first place, I never wouldve put my fist through the wall!
Ross: Okay, where in the hell did you get that?!
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
Ross: Oh-ho, okay.
Ross: The Geller Cup.
Ross: Chandler! Chandler!
(Ross looks in his wallet, pulls out two dollars.)
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
(Ross makes a Yeah. Right. sound.)
Ross: Yknow what? He didnt want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we dont talk to him at all!
Ross: Hey! Its 42-21!
(Ross flounders.)
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Ross: Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans!
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Ross: And what did he ask you not to call him?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]
Ross: Let go! Let go!
Ross: Yeah, losers talk!
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Ross: No! You let go!
Ross: Gimme the this!
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay.
Ross: Okay, y'know what, lets just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like?