words in movies
Joey: We know its Ross!
Rachel: Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but Im so relieved you guys know.
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: No why?
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Ross: Oh no.
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Ross: Well, we-we said wed just do it that one time but, but now I think she may wanna start things up again.
Ross: Why? What-what else could it be?
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Ross: Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first.
Ross: Okay. (He sits her down in a chair.) Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Thats been one heck of a see-saw hasnt it?
Ross: I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and and certainly passionate, but dont you think its better if we just stayed friends?
Ross: Okay. Okay. Yknow what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean Id-Id be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.
Ross: Oh sure. (He sits on the apothecary table and touches her hand.)
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: Im good. Im good.
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
Ross: Yeah, I need uh Im justI dont knowI dont understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Ross: No they dont!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!!
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, Im not freaked out! Im indignant! As a consumer!
Ross: No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? IIn fact, (picks up the phone) I am going to talk to the president of the condom company!
Ross: (grabs her) Shh! Shh! Shh!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Sure.
Ross: Namaste. (Bows.)
(Treeger leaves and Ross notices the door.)
Ross: Oh my God! What happened to the door?!
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Ross: With my child.
Ross: You already know dont you?
Ross: Okay. Okay. I mean Ill be okay. Its just I dont think I handled it very well.
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Phoebe: Oh Ross.
Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
Ross: I gotta go find her.
Ross: Evidently they do.
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Uh we-we need to talk.
Ross: Please, please I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today.
Rachel: Okay Ross thats fine, but can you please stand near my head?
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Rachel: Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Ross: Well yeah, I think we should get married.
Ross: No, because thats the right thing to do.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Ross: No but but still you cant possibly do this alone.
Ross: Come on Rach, you cant even eat alone in a restaurant.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Ross: When have you ever?
Ross: Well certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup!
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
Ross: But not the husband, because evidently she can do this alone.
Ross: (To Rachel, standing by her feet) I dont know why you cant admit that you need me.
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Pretty amazing huh?
Ross: What? What?!
Ross: You-you just said that you did!
Ross: Oh sure, come here! (Sits her up) Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, (rolls the machine closer) its-its-its, its right there (Points).
Ross: Do you really?
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Ross: Sweetie thats it.
Ross: Youre welcome.
Ross: Yeah, thats our baby.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Ross: Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Ross: Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Ross: Yeah.
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Ross: Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
Emily: (to Ross) Good luck, babe.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Ross: whats up, Dad?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Im gonna, Im gonna go to London and Im going to fight for her.
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
Ross: Oh, umm, I'm just getting rid of a couple of things.
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Joey: Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Ross: Im getting married, to..day!!
Ross: Chloe, Chloe hows it coming?!!
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!!
Ross: So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college.
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
Ross: Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky!
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal.
Ross: Well, that's cool. So did (She walks away from him and he shuts up.)
Ross: (Very Nervous)Really?
[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at the Walthams table discussing the bill.]
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Ross: Nothing, nothing. Everything's under control.
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
Ross: Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.
Ross: I Ross...
ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
Emily: Take thee Ross...
Minster: Take thee Ross...
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
Ross: I Ross...
Ross: I, Ross
ROSS: Hans...Hans...Yo evil twin.
Ross: Yay!
Ross: Happy too.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Ross: Hi!
(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry.
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
Ross: Oh, right!
Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?
Ross: (entering) Emily?!
Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Ross: (disappointed) Thats cool.
Ross: Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?
Emily: Ross umm, theres something that Ive got to tell you, theres-theres someone else.
Ross: (sarcastic) That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
ROSS: Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting?
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here
Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for.
Ross: (Into receiver) Hello? (listens) Oh no! What happened? (listens some more) Ok ok, where are you? (Grabs a pen and starts writing). Ok, I'll be right there. (Puts the phone down)
Ross: Rach! Rach!
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Not yet.
Ross: I get it! Well, thats that.
Ross: Pretty soon I guess.
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, I dont, I dont, I dont know
Ross: I know, why not?
Ross: Right?
Ross: Same difference.
Joey: (after Ross is gone) What is he doing? What, Emily, thinks Ross's furniture has got Rachel coodies?
Ross: Okay!
Ross: Cool!
Ross: Yeah, well nah.
Ross: Yknowthanks! (They hug)
Ross: You tell them to wait!