words in movies
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys!
Ross: Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Ross: Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today.
Ross: Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him.
Ross: Tsz... NO! (he goes to sit down, dropping a multicoloured silk streamer off his sleeve).
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
Ross: It's in Barbados.
Ross: So-so what did the doctor say?
Ross: How do you feel about all this?
Joey: Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!
Ross: (puzzled) What?
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Ross: (looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!
[Scene: Professor Sherman's office, Ross is relating to Professor Sherman]
Ross: The data we are receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing of these fossils are - are staggering.
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Ross: Oh, that's not what you want...
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Ross: I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker...
Ross: It could be better! He, uhm... he fell asleep!
Ross: Barbados.
Joey: Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Ross: I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job!
(Ross takes his suitcase and tries to get out but ends up falling on Prof. Sherman's laps, thereby waking him up)
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Prof. Sherman: (confused) You're welcome. (Ross hugs him again)
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Ross: Why dont you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Monica: (fingering her elbow): Ross?
Ross: (stares at her briefly) Okay, why are you here?
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Joey: Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
ROSS: Hey, we can rescedule for Saturday.
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Monica: (lying on the couch suffering from her cold) Ross isn't here.
Ross: Don't make jokes now.
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Ross: (nonchalantly) I'm never gonna find love again.
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
Monica: I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Monica: Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Ross: Well sure. But I get married all the time so
Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Dont, dont just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate.
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Ross: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area.
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Monica: Ross, cough drops, please?
Ross: Yeah, we kissed, but... nothing else... nothing else happened, okay.
Ross: Oh good, you scared me for a minute.
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross is checking his messages.]
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Phoebe: Aw, God Ross. Oh.(goes over and hugs him)
Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
Ross: Whats a koondis?
Ross: What are you reading? The Kidnappers Guide to Manhattan Private Schools?
Ross: Hi! Im so glad youre here, but its gonna be a while. I-I wished youd called first.
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there]
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Ross: I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...
Joey: Im missin picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Ross: Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-
Ross: What-what-what thehow da-how did-what the-how did-what?!
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
Ross: So, why is Erica coming to visit?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Joey: Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, youve been Bamboozled!
Ross: I wasnt farting! (To Mona) Uh, a little game from our table. (To the little girl) Yes?
Ross: Shh! (Laughs then composes himself) Of course, why dont we go inside?
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
Phoebe: (pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?
Ross: Okay, (gets up) if youll excuse me, I-Im gonna go hang out with some people who dont know the Space Mountain story.
Russell: (Rosss divorce lawyer.) Hello, is Ross there?
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
(Chandler mumbles something, and Ross tells him to "Come on.")
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!
Ross: I got mugged. And they stole my pocket.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Ross: (to Mona) Oh but not that way. I mean I mean Im not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend.
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Ross: Im the ring bearer.
Phoebe: Weee!!! (Ross pushes her and lets go.)
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Ross: Well, not playing raquetball!
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Ross: Hes right, what she did was unforgivable.
Ross: Celebrities Im allowed to sleep with.
Ross: Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent.