words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought Id take that bad boy out for a little spin.
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
Ross: Its a car Monica! Not a rocket ship!
Monica: Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after youre done.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Ross: Whew! That was a brisk ride!
Ross: Only way to fly.
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what shes talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Ross: Youre fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She mustve seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Rachel: I think shes checking out your beehive Ross.
Ross: What?! (Checks his hair.) Give-give me a brush.
Ross: No way!
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
(Suddenly from out of nowhere Ross dives onto the hood.)
Ross: What do you think youre doing?!
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Ross: With you?! Yeah right!
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Ross: In the death seat?!!
[Scene: The Porsche, Rachel is driving along a highway and Ross has finally moved to the death seat and is terrified.]
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Dear Lord!!
Ross: Here it comes.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
[Scene: The Porsche, cars are whizzing by and honking their horns on both sides very quickly as Ross creeps along.]
Ross: Who?
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasnt doing anything!
Ross: Maybe its uh Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more! (They pull over.)
Ross: Good evening officer.
Ross: Ah no. I dont, but it could not have been more than sixty.
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
(Theres a pause as Ross gets suddenly flirtatious.)
Ross: Yknow of-officer I uh I had the weirdest dream last night
Ross: (laughs) You dont-you dont want to hear about my dream Officer Pretty?
Policeman: Its Petty. (He grabs Rosss license.) Ill be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Ross: I know. I know.
ROSS: No, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because--
[Ross enters, depressed.]
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
Ross: Oh. Okay, just breathe.
ROSS: Are you all right?
ROSS: Hey, there.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Ross: You really serve people sneezers?
Ross: Wait! Whoa-whoa, you you gave her the ring?
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
ROSS: I uh can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
Ross: What? Come on Rach, tell me what youre thinking?
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
ROSS: (standing up) Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that...
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
ROSS: (runs after her) No, Rach!
RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.
Ross: No, were not.
ROSS: Everybody!
Ross: Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Ross: No! (Pause) Ill be right back. (Exits.)
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Ross: Nope.
Ross: Hey Mon!
(Ross enters and his hair is a mess.)
Ross: (to Joey) OK, here goes.
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Ross: Hmm?
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What?
Ross: No.
Rachel: Ross, you know what...
Ross: What?
Ross: Nope.
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Ross: Guess what?
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Okay.
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Ross: (to Rachel, as she gets his number) What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home?
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
Ross: Noo!
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Ross: I'm gonna pay for that tonight.
Ross: Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Yes!
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Nooo!
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Because it's breast milk. It's gross.
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Ross: Hmph.
ROSS: Well, she'll call back, don't be such a baby.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Really.
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
Ross: Hey!
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Ross: Wow, hello! You look great!
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Ross: No! Do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Now, do you have any idea what you just said?
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Ross: Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. (Chandler fixes it and a picture frame off the table.) And that goes back up there.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Ross: To wear in front of people?
Joey: I ended up at Ross's place. Oh, I musta missed counted or something. (Looks out the window.) Damn! She's not there anymore. Oh, l-l-look, Ross is doing his 'Watching TV' bit. (We see Ross sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels on his remote.)
ROSS: Lemme see. [looks]
ROSS: Ok, dinner's on.
Ross: You don't, you don't know what your wearing?