words in movies
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: What are you guys doing later?
Ross: (continuing) I just found out that Elizabeths dad wants to meet me.
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Ross: Thanks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
Paul: So Ross, what your problem?
Ross: Eh-whExcuse me?
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Ross: What?
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Ross: This isyou(Ross starts laughing.)
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Ross: And the Irish guy wins the joke!
Monica: Ross!!
Chandler: Ross!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Oh! Ross is sooo great!
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Ross: Joey?!
Paul: Hi Ross.
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Ross: Okay, Ill just wait for him in here!
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Paul: Yeah Ross its okay, its me, Mr. Stevens.
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Ross: What-what-what thehow da-how did-what the-how did-what?!
Ross: (incredulous) In your mouth?!
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
Ross: He is my girlfriends father, okay? Its-its, its weird!
Ross: That was different!
Ross: This is weird for me!
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: How is that important?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Ross: Yeah, take your time.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Ross: Not all bad.
Ross: Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too.
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Ross: Youre back.
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel is still trying to talk up Ross, not to much success.]
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Ross: God no!
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
Ross: Uh yeah, I guessYeah! I guess so.
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Elizabeth: I like Ross.
Ross: Ohhh! Kids!
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Ross: Thats okay Rach, were not liking Ross right now.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Ross: Yeah.
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Ross: Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
Emily: (to Ross) Good luck, babe.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Ross: whats up, Dad?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Im gonna, Im gonna go to London and Im going to fight for her.
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
Ross: Oh, umm, I'm just getting rid of a couple of things.
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Joey: Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Ross: Im getting married, to..day!!
Ross: Chloe, Chloe hows it coming?!!
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!!
Ross: So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college.
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
Ross: Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky!
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal.
Ross: Well, that's cool. So did (She walks away from him and he shuts up.)
Ross: (Very Nervous)Really?
[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at the Walthams table discussing the bill.]
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Ross: Nothing, nothing. Everything's under control.
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
Ross: Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.
Ross: I Ross...
ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
Emily: Take thee Ross...
Minster: Take thee Ross...
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
Ross: I Ross...
Ross: I, Ross
ROSS: Hans...Hans...Yo evil twin.
Ross: Yay!
Ross: Happy too.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Ross: Hi!
(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry.
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
Ross: Oh, right!
Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?
Ross: (entering) Emily?!
Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Ross: (disappointed) Thats cool.
Ross: Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?
Emily: Ross umm, theres something that Ive got to tell you, theres-theres someone else.
Ross: (sarcastic) That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
ROSS: Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting?
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here
Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for.
Ross: (Into receiver) Hello? (listens) Oh no! What happened? (listens some more) Ok ok, where are you? (Grabs a pen and starts writing). Ok, I'll be right there. (Puts the phone down)
Ross: Rach! Rach!
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Not yet.
Ross: I get it! Well, thats that.
Ross: Pretty soon I guess.
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, I dont, I dont, I dont know
Ross: I know, why not?
Ross: Right?
Ross: Same difference.
Joey: (after Ross is gone) What is he doing? What, Emily, thinks Ross's furniture has got Rachel coodies?
Ross: Okay!
Ross: Cool!
Ross: Yeah, well nah.
Ross: Yknowthanks! (They hug)
Ross: You tell them to wait!