words in movies
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: (triumphantly) Im gonna be on TV!!
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
Ross: Thanks. You ready to go?
Ross: (entering, wearing a white suit with a little red bow tie) Hey, you guys! Guess what?
Ross: Y'know what I didnt wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? Youre not my girlfriend anymore so...
Ross: Right.
Ross: (to Monica) You like it right?
Monica: Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! Im kidding!
Ross: Okay, good bye! (leaves)
Ross: (entering carrying a garment bag) Hey!
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
Ross: Really? (Joey gives him a Like I would know look)
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
Ross: Wow! That aspirin dance really works!
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...
Ross: No youre not.
Ross: Rach!
Ross: (stopping her from falling) Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay?
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Ross: Rach...
Ross: Rachel...
Ross: Fine. Ill go.
Ross: (He checks his watch) Sure. Ill help you.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Ross: Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesnt like how it tastes.)
Ross: Okay. This stuff?
Ross: All right.
Ross: Oke-dokey. (He pokes her in the eye with the brush.)
Ross: Sorry.
Ross: Sorry, Im sorry. Close, close, close...
Ross: Im sweeping...
Ross: Sweep, sweep....(He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)
Ross: What? What?
Ross: No. No, y'know you dont, you dont wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?
Ross: Well I, close your eyes, I just think youre gonna like this a little better, cause, close-close... (He gets some more on the brush)
Ross: (blows it) Sorry. Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
[Scene: Rachels Bedroom, Ross is finishing up her make-up.]
Ross: There you go! Good enough for your party, huh?
Ross: Yep?
Ross: Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay?
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Ross: (checks his watch) Sure, okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: Rachel, Ive seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
Ross: Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!!
Rachel: Ross! Stop that!
Ross: Ah, Im sorry.
Ross: Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. Its one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Ross: Come on, would you grow up? Its no big deal.
Ross: Yowzah!!!
Ross: Aww, come on.
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: All right.
Ross: Look...
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Rach?
Ross: Easy. Easy. You have to go to the hospital. Okay?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Okay, Im gonna get your coat and then Ill-Ill put you in a cab.
Ross: (He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.
Ross: Okay? (goes into the living room)
Ross: (rushing back in) What?! I wh-, whats wrong?
Monica: Okay, so it doesnt involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?
[Scene: The Hallway Between The Apartments, Ross and Rachel are coming back from the hospital. Ross is helping her up the stairs.]
Ross: Rach, you cant look fat in an x-ray.
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
Chandler: Thats a bad duck!!! (to Ross) Howd the thing go tonight, Ross?
Ross: Oh, it was, nah, well....
Ross: Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. (they go into her apartment) Easy.
Ross: I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: Ross, why didnt you tell me that?
Ross: Eh, cause I knew that if I told you, youd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Ross: What?
Ross: (breaking the silence) You should get some sleep.
Ross: So, Ill umm...
Ross: No, thats, no, as long as youre okay. So Ill ah, Ill see you tomorrow.
(In the hallway, Ross all dejected, sits down on the step.)
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Ross: Oh, major shampoo explosion!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Monica, and Joey are playing Monopoly.]
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
ROSS: Well we did it, we're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take?
Chandler: This is ridiculous, hes not gonna hold his breath (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is still trying to get Ben to play with something other than the Barbi doll.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! If youre going to the airport, could you pick me up another one of those Toblerone bars? (Chandler nods his head no.)
Ross: Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
(Ross walks over to the scrum, walks around a bit looking for a way to get into the scrum.)
Rachel: Okay Ross, werewait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession.
Ross: Turns out this sweater is made for a woman.
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Ross: Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)
Ross: Yes, but I don't wanna die in your cab!
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
Ross: (to Phoebe) Ranion's theory of species variegation?
Ross: Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmentalPotluck dinner.
Ross: Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.
Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Ross: (loudly) So I'm going over to Amanda's tonight!
Ross: Uhh, it was okay. Yeah, it was fun.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?
Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.
CHAN: Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Wanna do another one, huh Russ? OK... eleven letters, atomic element number 101... ends in ium.
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heavens name are you doing here?
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
(cut to the street in front of Central Perk where Ross is walking Chappy. He has a plastic bag in his hand.)
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
Ross: Look, I am a reasonable man. I will accept store credit.
Ross: Good, 'cause the ladies, not so much. (shakes his head, give him a thumbs up and leaves)
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Ross: No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star!
Ross: Oh the bands ready! And wellI-Iwe gotta do what the band says, right? I dont care about the stinkin band!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Ross: Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!!
Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay.
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Ross: Pffhah.
Ross: (He puts his hand over the hole on the box.) (to Chandler) Now, well see.
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Rachel: You had no right coming down to my office Ross. You do not bring a picnic basket to somebodys work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger!
Ross: Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Ross: Come on Rach, you cant even eat alone in a restaurant.
Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)
Ross: He's unconscious, I think we'll be just fine!
Ross: Ok, I'm off to talk to my unborn child.
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)
Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)
Ross: Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down.
Ross: (he kisses her on her forehead) Good night.
Ross: (feeling it too) No! No! Its wrong! Its-its-its naughty. Its taboo.
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just cant get out of!
Emily: Ross, take me off speakerphone.
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Rachel: They're waiting for me, Ross. I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing Ive heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyers office.
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Ross: (acts surprised) What? (pause) Why not?
Ross: Why-why would I care about that?
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
(Ross and Emilys parents are seated at a table. Ross is between them and they are discussing the wedding bill.)
Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
ROSS: I don't think tho.
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
Ross: A basket of mini-muffins.
Ross: She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently he's reached sexual maturity.
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
(Ross hits the playback button.)
Ross: So when do you think youre gonna talk to her?
Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Rachel: Ross, honey, it's a nice couch. It's not a magic couch.
Ross: Yeah, but we-we have to be at the Four Seasons for drinks in 15 minutes and then yknow, then The Plaza for dinner.
[Scene: Ross' office. Ross is pacing and Benjamin enters]
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]