words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
Joey: Ross?
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything.
Ross: So you two are..?
Ross: And have you .. ed?
Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Ross: I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Joey: Ross..
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Ross: No. We should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!!
Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
(They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.)
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
Ross: Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!!
Charlie: Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little...
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Ross: You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
Ross: I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us. There's no weirdness, no tension.
Ross: We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay, where do you think we - we can go?
Ross: My fajitas!!
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
(Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.)
Ross: Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!!
Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Ross: And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Ross: Totally.
Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.
Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.
Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
Ross: No!
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
Ross: Okay.
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
(Ross enters from the kitchen with three plates with flan.)
Ross: Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed!
Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
Ross: Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good.
Ross: I don't even know what that's for.
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
Ross: Thanks. Did you stay here all night?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Ross: Joey.
Ross: And she feels the same way?
Ross: Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure.
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Ross: Yeah.
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Ross: Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
Emily: (to Ross) Good luck, babe.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Ross: whats up, Dad?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Im gonna, Im gonna go to London and Im going to fight for her.
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
Ross: Oh, umm, I'm just getting rid of a couple of things.
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Joey: Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Ross: Im getting married, to..day!!
Ross: Chloe, Chloe hows it coming?!!
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!!
Ross: So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college.
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
Ross: Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky!
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal.
Ross: Well, that's cool. So did (She walks away from him and he shuts up.)
Ross: (Very Nervous)Really?
[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at the Walthams table discussing the bill.]
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Ross: Nothing, nothing. Everything's under control.
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
Ross: Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.
Ross: I Ross...
ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
Emily: Take thee Ross...
Minster: Take thee Ross...
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
Ross: I Ross...
Ross: I, Ross
ROSS: Hans...Hans...Yo evil twin.
Ross: Yay!
Ross: Happy too.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Ross: Hi!
(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry.
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
Ross: Oh, right!
Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?
Ross: (entering) Emily?!
Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Ross: (disappointed) Thats cool.
Ross: Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?
Emily: Ross umm, theres something that Ive got to tell you, theres-theres someone else.
Ross: (sarcastic) That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
ROSS: Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting?
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here
Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for.
Ross: (Into receiver) Hello? (listens) Oh no! What happened? (listens some more) Ok ok, where are you? (Grabs a pen and starts writing). Ok, I'll be right there. (Puts the phone down)
Ross: Rach! Rach!
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Not yet.
Ross: I get it! Well, thats that.
Ross: Pretty soon I guess.
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, I dont, I dont, I dont know
Ross: I know, why not?
Ross: Right?
Ross: Same difference.
Joey: (after Ross is gone) What is he doing? What, Emily, thinks Ross's furniture has got Rachel coodies?
Ross: Okay!
Ross: Cool!
Ross: Yeah, well nah.
Ross: Yknowthanks! (They hug)
Ross: You tell them to wait!