words in movies
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
Ross: Hey, if mommy can have a wife, daddy can have a bra.
Ross: Oh, no-no-no, see, that-that clocks a little fast, uh, we have 17 minutes. Huh, what can we do in 17 minutes? Twice?
Ross: Hey, uh, you can ignore that.
Ross: Uhh, believe me when hes older, hell understand.
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
(Ross accidentally, on purpose, bumps into Susan.)
Ross: Look at you two, bonding, making us late for the airport so
Ross: Oh come on! Thats-thats true.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: So uh, Emily called last night
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Ross: Hey, theyre going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Yknow they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playfuldidnt you see Personal Best?
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I dont like the name Ross.
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when Im down.
Ross: Oh. Whats wrong with Ross?
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Carol has come to pick up Ben.]
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Ross: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, by the by, did it uh, did it ever occur to you that, I dont know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
Ross: Yknow, the kind of fun, you and Susan had when we were married.
Ross: Am I?!
Ross: Am I?!
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Ross: OH MY GOD!! I didnt really believe it until you just said it!!
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Ross: Oh, wake up!
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Look, I dont know what youre talking about, I am not a crazy, jealous person.
Ross: What?
Ross: It does not!
Ross: This is not fun!
Phoebe: Yeah. The 92 Ross wouldnt.
Ross: Well, I still think I was right about that whole Mark thing.
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Ross: Nice luggage.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Oh, I missed you too.
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
Rachel: Oh, thank you so much for coming. Ross, get in here!
ROSS: What're you doing?
ROSS: Still doing the screening thing?
ROSS: Oh, you and me?
ROSS: Ok.
ROSS: Ok.
ROSS, CHANDLER & JOEY: Yes!
ROSS: Uh-huh.
ROSS: Would it matter?
ROSS: Mmm hmmm.
MONICA: Ross, I thought you were over this.
Ross: Getting married. (Chandler panics.) Okay. Okay. You can, you can do that too! Just like youve done everything else!
(Ross gets all excited and starts to dance on the coffee table, but slips allmost immediatly, and falls onto the couch. Rachel wakes up.)
CHAN: You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.
ROSS: That is so good! Do it again!
ROSS: Well just hold him like you'd hold a football.
ROSS: Excellent!
ROSS: No no, that's me.
ROSS: Oh my god.
ROSS: Is everything ok?
ROSS: Oh, hello.
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
ROSS: Ok, here, here. There we go.
Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.
MRS GREEN: Oh hello, Ross.
CHAN, JOEY, ROSS: No!
ROSS: Rach. OK, forget, forget the lobsters OK. We're, let's talk, what about us?
Ross: Yeah, but when the baby comes shes gonna want to move.
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
ROSS: It's alright, it's no big deal.
ROSS: Oooooh.
Ross: Yeah, well missy, you better be glad that list is laminated.
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
Ross: (picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie)
MONICA: [to Ross] All right, you!
ROSS: No. Look, I told you I am not a part of this thing.
ROSS: What's the matter?
ROSS: What?
ROSS: Oh my god.
ROSS: It's ok. I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Ross, youre tired. Youve been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.
ROSS: Carol, what's the matter? What happened?
ROSS: What?
(Both Chandler and Ross are eager to hear her decision.)
Ross: What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
ROSS: Uhh, yeah. I mean, actually I kinda think that we'll have, we'll have two babies.
ROSS: Yeah.
[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]
ROSS: No, that's fine.
ROSS: Ok.
ROSS: Ok.
ROSS: Well, Mon, I was married.
ROSS: Yeah, you really sidestepped that land mine.
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
(The whole party gathers round as Ross puts the box on the coffee table.)
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Ross: So you do know a little English.
Ross: You're sure? Nobody uh, handed out uh, mints or anything?
ROSS: Hey guys.
[Ross enters with a suitcase]
Ross: Multiple orgasms!
[Scene: Library. Ross show up with a MonkeyShine Beer poster.]
Ross: I�m serious. C�mon, you should go. Here. (shoves her outside, while she tries to stay) No, uh-uh, just go.
Joey: Uh Look Rach (Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! Its my good friend Ross. Hey Ross.
ROSS: Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb.
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
ROSS: I can't believe this.
Ross: What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Chandler: (to Ross) "Big guy?"
ROSS: Zoo dollars?
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
ROSS: Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing--
ROSS: I uh, I don't know, I guess I'm just gonna see, see what happens.
(Ross is practically drooling over Rachel at this point.)
ROSS: Ooooohhhh.
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
Ross: Hey, this- (she gives him a look and the guys back off) Heyy...
Ross: No, no, I knew (he stares at her breasts).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Ross climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]
ROSS: Buddy, my monkey?
ROSS: That guy Lipson?
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
ROSS: This is unbelievable.
ROSS: Of course.
ROSS: But you already told me everything.
Ross: Well we gotta do something, ok? Nannies like her don't grow on trees. (pause)
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Ross: Perfect. Perfect. So now everybody's getting kissed but me.
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Mona: Ohh! (Hugs him.) And I love spending time with you. (Ross isnt happy.)
Ross: Rach, I think youre reading a little too much into it.
ROSS: I know.
Joey: Monica-Monica-Monica-Monica, listen-listen, listen, listen, would-would it make you feel better if we all stop talking about Ross and Rachel.
Ross: It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility!