words in movies
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Ross: Rach!
[Scene: Ross's bedroom. Rachel is putting on her shoes as Ross shows up from underneath the covers.]
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Oh. This was amazing.
Ross: Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me "Sex for Dummies" as a joke.
Ross: Who's laughing now?
(Ross enters.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl.
Ross: Is Rachel here?
Ross: Uh, we, y'know, we worked things out.
Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!
Ross: I know, it's pretty great.
Ross: Oh, I.. I don't know. We didn't really get to talk.
Ross: I don't know. It was incredible. I mean, it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. You know what? Yeah, I do. I wanna be together.
Ross: Shhh!
Ross: Wow, I hadn't thought of that. I hope not.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Hey. How did you sleep?
Ross: Good.
Ross: Uh. Would you guys mind giving us a minute?
Ross: So...
Ross: Morning.
Ross: It really was.
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.
Ross: Nothing! What do you say to that?
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
Ross: No way!
Ross: What?
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Ross: You really think so?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Alright, you know what? You're right. I should at least tell her how I feel.
Joey: Ross, wait!
Ross: What? What?
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
(Ross is shocked.)
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: I'm not getting you a muffin!
(Ross enters with a gift for the baby.)
Ross: Hey.
Ross: No, and I'm not going to.
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Ross: Oh my God! You did that yourself?
Ross: Oh my God!
Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey.
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: Okay, okay, awkward question. The hospital knows you took two, right?
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Aw, he's gonna be so happy.
Rachel: I will. Ross, come here.
Ross: Neither will I.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Yeah, that's true. Except I don't wanna get over her.
Ross: I don't! I wanna be with her.
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna go after her.
(Monica and Chandler look shocked as Ross goes to leave.)
Ross: My coat...
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Ross: Okay, guys, wish me luck.
(Phoebe and Ross leave.)
[Scene: The street right in front of Central Perk. Phoebe's cab is there. Ross and Phoebe run over and jump in.]
Ross: There's no seatbelt!
(Ross looks terrified.)
Ross: Alright, alright, let's do this!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: No, you don't understand. This isn't a real cab.
Ross: (screaming) Get out of the cab!
[Scene: Phoebe's cab. Phoebe is driving very fast, and a terrified Ross has closed his eyes.]
Ross: Are we off the bridge?
Ross: Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive?
(Ross opens his eyes.)
Ross: Oh my God, Phoebe, slow down!
Ross: Yes, but I don't wanna die in your cab!
Ross: What?
(Ross tries to open a plastic bag filled with quarters, but he's quite slow.)
Ross: Okay!
(Phoebe tries to throw some quarters out the window, but she has forgotten to open the window, and she and Ross scream.)
[Scene: The airport. Ross and Phoebe run in.]
Phoebe: Ross, where are you going?
Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?
Ross: Not since my cop-show got cancelled.
Ross: What? We're never gonna make it!
Ross: Okay, if you could all walk slower, that'd be great.
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe come running.]
Ross: Hey, I need a ticket.
Ross: Fine, two tickets, I need two tickets.
Ross: I don't care. Whatever is the cheapest.
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Ross: Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it?
Ross: No, no, no. That's impossible. It doesn't leave for another 20 minutes.
Phoebe: Hey, it's me. Here's Ross.
Ross: What? Hey, hey, listen..
Monica: Oh my God! Ross, you wouldn't believe the cute little noises the twins are making. Listen.
Ross: Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..?
Ross: That's alright. Listen, listen.
Ross: Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..?
Ross: That is precious! Listen! I need Rachel's flight information.
Ross: Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board.
Ross: What?
Ross: JFK.
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
Ross: Phoebe! Wow! No, no, no!
Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.
Ross: I am not doing this over the phone.
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.
Ross: Yay.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
Ross: Where is she?
Ross: Rachel! Rachel Green!
Ross: Rachel! Rachel!
Ross: No, no, I just have to talk to someone.
Ross: No, no, no, but...
Rachel: What? What? Ross, you're scaring me. What's going on?
Ross: Okay, the thing is..
Ross: Don't go.
Ross: Please, please stay with me. I am so in love with you. Please, don't go.
Ross: I know, I know. I shouldn't have waited 'till now to say it, but I'm.. That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane.
Ross: Hey, hey. I know you love me. I know you do.
Ross: No, you don't.
Ross: No, you don't.
Rachel: They're waiting for me, Ross. I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Ross: Rachel?
Ross: I really thought she'd stay.
(Phoebe hugs Ross.)
Chandler: Where's Ross?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross enters and checks his messages.]
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: Let her off the plane!
Ross: Try to understand!
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
Ross: No! No! Oh my God. Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?
Ross: You got off the plane.
Ross: I love you too, and I'm never letting you go again.
Ross: Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid.
Ross: This is it. Unless we're on a break.
Ross: Don't make jokes now.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Ross: Wow.
Ross: Uh, I haven't.
Ross: Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?
(Chandler hugs her. Monica hugs Ross and Rachel as Chandler gets the stroller with the twins.)
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
Monica: I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Monica: Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Ross: Well sure. But I get married all the time so
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Dont, dont just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate.
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Ross: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area.
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Monica: Ross, cough drops, please?
Ross: Yeah, we kissed, but... nothing else... nothing else happened, okay.
Ross: Oh good, you scared me for a minute.
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross is checking his messages.]
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Phoebe: Aw, God Ross. Oh.(goes over and hugs him)
Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
Ross: Whats a koondis?
Ross: What are you reading? The Kidnappers Guide to Manhattan Private Schools?
Ross: Hi! Im so glad youre here, but its gonna be a while. I-I wished youd called first.
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there]
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Ross: I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...
Joey: Im missin picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Ross: Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-
Ross: What-what-what thehow da-how did-what the-how did-what?!
Ross: Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
Ross: So, why is Erica coming to visit?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Joey: Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, youve been Bamboozled!
Ross: I wasnt farting! (To Mona) Uh, a little game from our table. (To the little girl) Yes?
Ross: Shh! (Laughs then composes himself) Of course, why dont we go inside?
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
Phoebe: (pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?
Ross: Okay, (gets up) if youll excuse me, I-Im gonna go hang out with some people who dont know the Space Mountain story.
Russell: (Rosss divorce lawyer.) Hello, is Ross there?
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
(Chandler mumbles something, and Ross tells him to "Come on.")
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!
Ross: I got mugged. And they stole my pocket.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Ross: (to Mona) Oh but not that way. I mean I mean Im not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend.
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Ross: Im the ring bearer.
Phoebe: Weee!!! (Ross pushes her and lets go.)
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Ross: Well, not playing raquetball!
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Ross: Hes right, what she did was unforgivable.
Ross: Celebrities Im allowed to sleep with.
Ross: Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent.
(Monica rolls, and Ross goes first.)
(Ross is so moved by his father's charming story, that he stops eating.)
Ross: No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thoughtit wasnt that funny. So Im still torn.
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
[Ross tries to start the truck, and discovers the batterys dead.]
Ross: Well umm, Ive been doing a lot more of my kara-tay.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
(He goes to kiss her, but she isnt very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
Ross: Maybe Ill take her to that new French restaurant down the street
Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place!
(Ross returns from getting some coffee.)
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, while were hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they dont go, rrroof!
Ross: Uh actually, we-weve narrowed it down to two names.
Rachel: Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! (They walk away from the desk.)