words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ross: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joeys special romance magazines in there?
Ross: (to Ben) Okay! All clear!
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Ross: Hey listen can you do me a big favor? The deans office just called and said there was an urgent meeting. Can you watch Ben for like an hour?
Ross: Oh, she isnt home.
Ross: Well, Ben would be there.
Ross: Whats the matter?
Ross: Rach, hes not an ex-con.
Ross: I dont know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: (To Rachel) I wasnt talking to you.
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
(She opens the door to reveal Ross with a pencil mark from his forehead to his chin.)
Ross: I have a bone to pick with you.
Ross: Yes! Ben learned a little trick.
Ross: Thats right! Thats right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere!
Ross: Yeah that! You know I hate practical jokes! Theyre mean and theyre stupid and-and I dont want my son learning them!
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Ross: Your good friend?
Ross: Whats her last name?
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-its not funny!
Carol: (entering from the kitchen) Hey Ross!
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Practical jokes.
Ross: You have a line down your face.
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Ross: Okay, Ill see you later pal.
(Ross turns to leave.)
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Ross: What?
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]
Ross: Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding!
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
RUSS: [sounding like Ross] Hhhhiiiii.
ROSS: Ugh. It's definitely getting worse.
ROSS: Good for you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is opening the door to Monica.]
ROSS: With mealworms.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
ROSS: Huh?
ROSS: How'd the callback go?
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is getting help writing his vows from Joey and Ross.]
Rachel: No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
ROSS: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
ROSS: [being drawn in by her talk] Uh-huh.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
ROSS: What happened?
Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
ROSS: What?
Ross: Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? (showing the bottle) Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Ross: Thats funny. Yeah. Yknow youre the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.
ROSS: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Ross: Well, I... I am having a good hair day.
Ross: (not turning around) Chandler. I sensed it was you.
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Ross: Phoebs, It's open! It's open!
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y...
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
Ross: No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.
ROSS: But, you are.
ROSS: I was saving you.
ROSS: No, but. . .
ROSS: Well, but, but. . .
ROSS: Uh, uh, well you're, umm, you're my lobster.
ROSS: Oh.
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
Ross: (jumping away) That would be no.
ROSS: Hey guys.
JULIE: Yeah, we figure it'll live with Ross half the time, and with me half the time.
Ross: Well thats different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet.
Ross: Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you.
Ross: (talking agitated and angry) Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things.
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. And you are a....
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
Ross: Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love.
ROSS: [Rachel enters] Oh.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
ROSS: Hi.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
ROSS: this summer?
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
ROSS: Yeah, well.
Joey: Its Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
Ross: Okay. (goes out onto the balcony)
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
ROSS: Bye guys.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
[ROss approaches Rachel at counter.]
Monica: (to Ross)So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks?
Ross: Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyers office all I could hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Look, I just dont want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces.
ROSS: Oh.
ROSS: Hey, someone order a coat?
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
Joey, Chander, and Ross: Sorry.
ROSS: What, what.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
ROSS: And that's, that's funny why?
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
ROSS: That's romantic.
[Ross enters]