words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)
Ross: Grazie.
Ross: What's going on?
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Ross: OK, ahem, hey, does anybody know a good place if you're not dating a puma?
Rachel: (trying to sound like a bug) Bzzzz.... I love you, Ross.
Ross: Her name is Celia. She's not a bug lady. She's curator of insects at the museum.
Ross: Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Joey: (aside to Ross) So.... back to your place...you thinking, maybe... (gestures with hands, back and forth) huh-huh?
Ross: Well, I don't know.... (gestures) huh-huh.... but I'm hoping (gestures) huh-huh.
Ross: Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel...
Ross: Alright... (lifts Marcel away)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Ross and Chandler. Monica is making food, and having everyone try it.]
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon (the original, not that cruddy Urge Overkill version) is playing. Ross and Celia are kissing passionately.]
Ross: OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning...
Ross: (embarrassed) Wha... what, here?
Ross: Ah....
Ross: (panicked) Er.... um.....
Ross: Um... uh.... vulva.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Ross are there, discussing what happened last night.]
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Ross: Shut up! It was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
Ross: (deadpan) Please be kidding.
Ross: OK. (closes eyes) I'm in my apartment...
Ross: That's it. I'm in my apartment, you're not there, we're not having this conversation. (gets up, walks across room)
Ross: Joey, please.
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.
Ross: (impressed) Wow.
Ross: I... ahem... I really don't think so.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Sure.
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Ross: Ahem... I want.... OK, I want to... feel your... hot, soft skin with my lips.
Ross: I, er...
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Ross: I want to take my tongue... and...
Ross: ....and....
Ross: ...run it all over your body until you're... trembling with... with...
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Ross: (rushing to explain) Funny story!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Look, you'll get there. You're an amazing chef.
(Ross gets up and goes over to the counter and Joey follows him.)
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
Ross: Oh, I was unbelievable.
Joey: All right, Ross!
Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
Ross: Yeah, which was nice.
Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
(Ross falls back inside)
Ross: That, for all I knew would, could last forever. That to me is a break-up.
Ross: And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.)
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
ROSS: Yes, and that's why we're here.
Ross: Oh. (pause) Hey, who's Carl?
(Rachel grins as Ross removes the girlie jacket, grabs his own, and rushes out.)
ROSS: Why did you hate me?
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
ROSS: Hey.
MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
ROSS: Yeah he was wasn't he.
Ross: (he picks up the ball) What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? (he enters another room)
ROSS: Alright.
ROSS: So, listen guys, are we uh, are we ok here?
Ross: MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)
ROSS: Yeah.
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Joey: Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come.
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
Ross: Look, Im not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our relationship was dead!
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Ross: Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don�t you, why don�t you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then I�ll meet you there.
Ross: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
ROSS: Is there blood coming out of my ears?
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
ROSS: Hey, Phoebs, how'd it go.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is prying at the Magic 8 Ball with a screwdriver as there's a knock on his door which he goes to answer.]
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: No. [sound of Dr. Remore's body hitting the bottom of the shaft] Now maybe.
ROSS: That's who.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Uhh, okay, its uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married.
Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
ROSS: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.
ROSS: I know.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: No. no.
Guru Saj: I dont know, whats a koondis with you? (starts laughing as if that joke was funny, Ross only looks at him, and he stops) Please, lie down! Ive got a sav that oughta shrink that right up.
Ross: Look, I didnt think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I thought we were broken up.
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Joey: Anyway! Her and Ross just started yelling at each other.
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
ROSS: Mine.
Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.
ROSS: I'll take that dad. [grabs the bat]
JOEY: Yeah really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
ROSS: Buddy, my monkey, my monkey.
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
ROSS: Hi, Julie. [nervous] Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you?
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
Ross: Look, this is a disaster! Can't I please just go?
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Ross: Ohh, okay.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
Ross: Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-its not funny!
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Ross: Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Julia?
Ross: No, but itd be nice if you realised, its just a job!
Ross: You know how close women can get.
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
ROSS: I'm telling you, there's no way he's moving back.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Ross: No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Bonnie: (to Ross) Shoot! I cant go, I have to work!
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
ROSS: Did you see me write one down?
Ross: Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
Ross: All right, maybe it means that too
[Ross and Rachel leave.]
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
Rachel: Ross! Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me....
ROSS: Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Bye Ryan.