words in movies
Ross: Happy birthday!!!
Ross: Weve got presents!
Ross: Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty?
Ross: Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Monica: Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Ross: How hot do I look in this, huh?!
Chandler: Ross, a sports car? Wouldnt it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?
Ross: Thats not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
Ross: (giddy) I dont know, but-but look how shiny!
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
Phoebe: Oh, well get in line missy. (To Ross) So, can I have a ride stud?
Ross: Hop in. (Phoebe hops in.) Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.
Ross: Damnit! (Shuts the car off.)
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Ross: Okay, forward. ForwardStop! (The car moves an inch and Ross runs to the back of the car.) Okay, backStop! (The car barely moves and Ross runs back to the front.) Okay, forwardStop! Stop! Stop!
Monica: Ross, just forget about it. This guys got you totally wedged in.
Ross: No-no-no! Its mine! Its-its mine. (The woman walks away.)
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Ross: (to Tag) Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.
Ross: Hey! Look whos back! Its the birthday girl! Hows the birthday girl feeling?
Ross: What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Ross: Come on!
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
(Ross pans the camera over to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? Were gonna pick it up and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? Were gonna lift the car and slide it out. Lift and slide!
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
Ross: (interrupting her) Lift!! And slide!
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
Ross: God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Ross: Yes! My babys finally free!
Ross: (starting it) Woohoo!
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
Ross: You wanna buy a car?
(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
Joey: Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: Wha... (gasps) What? What would give you that idea?
Ross: Thanks!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Ah, yeah. We had a really good talk.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Ross: (gasps) OH NO!
Ross: (unpacking his bag) Okay, shoot!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Ross: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying?
Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy.
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
Ross: Duh, you think? (enters the kitchen)
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Joey: Ross?
Ross: So you two are..?
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything.
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
Joey: Ross..
Ross: Hey, you gotta get Mom on the phone. Call Mom! Call Mom!
Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon...
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Ross: Oh, I'm no actor, I'm a professor of palaeontology.
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Ross: Look, I dont feel like dancing, I feel like having a drink. Okay?
Prof. Sherman: (confused) You're welcome. (Ross hugs him again)
Ross: My fajitas!!
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
[Scene: Rosss office, hes unlocking his office door as Elizabeth walks up.]
Ross: What you got over there? Tacos?
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
Ross: No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.
Ross: Totally.
Ross: No!
ROSS: Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?
Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.
Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
Ross: Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more
Ross: Okay.
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
Ross: I don't even know what that's for.
Ross: And have you .. ed?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross is in the living room covering Emma.� Rachel enters wearing a sexy dress.]
Ross: Thanks. Did you stay here all night?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Joey.
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure.
Ross: Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Ross: Let's celebrate with some maple candy!
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW!
Ross: Well, how about this year, instead of Santa, we have fun celebrating Hanukkah?
Ross: Eh, you got a spray-on tan?
Ross: I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan?
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Ross are exiting a pizza place.]
Ross: Well... I like how you look, what are you?
Ross: Two, I think a two.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Ross: Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat.
Ross: You sprayed my front twice!
Ross: (sarcastically) Really!
Ross: I'm a four?
Ross: (annoyed) Ok!
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: (Still yelling) I Know!
Ross: No! I balanced my checkbook.
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH!
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)