words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
ROSS: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
ROSS: Wha, OK, now how do you know that?
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
ROSS: No no, no no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
ROSS: OK, see ya later, nice meeting you. [man leaves] You're welcome.
ROSS: I was saving you.
ROSS: Oh, see from where I was sitting I uh. . .
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
ROSS: But, you are.
ROSS: Uh, uh, well you're, umm, you're my lobster.
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
ROSS: Rach. OK, forget, forget the lobsters OK. We're, let's talk, what about us?
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
ROSS: No, but. . .
ROSS: Well, but, but. . .
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
ROSS: E-except, except that what?
ROSS: Oh.
ROSS: Hey guys.
ROSS: No, he's at uh, Carol's and Susan's today.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
ROSS: Emotional hell. So, did they lend you the money yet?
ROSS: C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news.
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in the kitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
ROSS: Here you go, you can pay me back whenever you like.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah I mean, you get your money and you learn a little something, what's wrong with that?
ROSS: [Rachel enters] Oh.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
ROSS: You look pretty tonight.
ROSS: Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music.
ROSS: Uh, hold, let me see, I don't know. So what're you gonna do. . . [doorbell rings]
ROSS: this summer?
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
ROSS: Doubtful.
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
ROSS: I don't know.
ROSS: OK. Hold my board.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
ROSS: OK, you guys, ya know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
ROSS: OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright.
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
ROSS: Yeah, well.
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
[Time lapse, Ross still laying a lot out the states.]
Ross: Oh, where are you guys going?
Ross: Nope.
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No problem.
Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, its Ross and that girl.
ROSS: OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake.
ROSS: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful
Ross: Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me.
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Ross: Dude! How-how did you write this?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Ross: I gotta get going. Bye Chandler.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
ROSS: No, you let me fini...
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
ROSS: Better not be doin' these in order.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering and Mona from the wedding recognizes him.]
Ross: Hey, wheres Chandler?
Ross: (walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable) Okay dad.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Is uh, is Monica here?
Ross: He left that.
(Ross laughs and Phoebe points harder.)
Ross: (scared) I will, I will find him.
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Ross: Oh damn!
Ross: Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Ross: Why?!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Ross: (shocked) Gunther?!
Ross: What? Your-your list?
Ross: (sitting down) Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about?
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
Ross: Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late.
Ross: No! Hey! Hey! We cant!
Ross: Why?!
Ross: Give me two.
Ross: Okay, wish me luck.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Ross: All right, try pedaling.
Ross: That is an old, Chinese woman!
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions.
Ross: So this is your office?
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Ross: For what? For letting you throw me out of your office?
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Okay.
[Scene: Chandlers Hotel Room, Ross is getting Chandler ready.]
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Ross: In the death seat?!!
ROSS: Look, don't blame us. You guys coulda been there, you know.
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
Ross: Oh my God! Monica!
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
(Ross just glares at her.)
Ross: Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second?
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Chandler: Ross! (He starts to get up.)
Ross: What?
Ross: What?! What?! Talking about what?!
Ross: You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Phoebe (walking to Ross carrying a black leather jacket): Hey, check this out! It’s totally you!
Phoebe and Ross: Cigarettes?!!
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Ross: The carbon, its messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.
Ross: Huh. This is nice.
ROSS: Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?
Monica: Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after youre done.
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
Ross: Rings?
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is running up the stairs. Note: This show continues where the last one left off.]
Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks each page out of the way.)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, umm no you didnt. I did.
Ross: Oh, you like it? You wanna know where I got it?
Ross: OK. Here goes. For a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Ross: Ah. Joey youre-youre having lunch with my mom?
Ross: That's nice. Get out Let's go, come on.
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
Ross: (Putting the bread up to his nose.) Ohh, I just like the smell. (Sniffing it.) Mmmm.
ROSS: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.