words in movies
[Scene: A Theatre, Chandler and Ross are there to watch the premiere of Kathys play.]
Ross: People can hear you.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: That is one good looking man!
(Ross and Chandler have stunned looks on their faces as Kathy and her co-star start making out.)
Ross: Dude!
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
Ross: Heres your girlfriends button. (Holding the button.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are entering after the play. Phoebe and Joey are already there.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin guy.
Joey: (to Ross) That-that is a good trick.
Ross: Oh-oh, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Theyre not a couple!
Ross: Oh yeah!
Ross: No.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
Ross: Yknow what, I dont know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.
Ross: Oh no-no-no, Im there.
Ross: Oh yeah!
Ross: Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess.
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Ross: All right, lets not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them.
Ross: Here she comes. Dont say a word, okay? Just be cool, dont be y'know you.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh, absolutely! (Chandler mumbles something.)
(Chandler mumbles something, and Ross tells him to "Come on.")
Ross: Okay, I (Walks away.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Ross: Uh, hello!
Ross: Oh, yumm!
Ross: Cookies and porn, youre the best mom ever!!
Ross: Yeah, how does Jason look in a v-neck?
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Ross: So you were right?
Ross: Chandler!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
Ross: Hes right, what she did was unforgivable.
Ross: How might you be wrong?
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Ross: Thats all youre basing this on?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Ross: So the first time you ask a guy out, he-he turns you down?
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: This is beautiful!
Ross: Look, Mon, do you want us to uh, come back later?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What are you saying?
Ross: Well, if-if she thought they were on a break
ROSS: No, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because--
[Ross enters, depressed.]
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
Ross: Oh. Okay, just breathe.
ROSS: Are you all right?
ROSS: Hey, there.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Ross: You really serve people sneezers?
Ross: Wait! Whoa-whoa, you you gave her the ring?
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
ROSS: I uh can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
Ross: What? Come on Rach, tell me what youre thinking?
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
ROSS: (standing up) Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that...
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
ROSS: (runs after her) No, Rach!
RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.
Ross: No, were not.
ROSS: Everybody!
Ross: Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Ross: No! (Pause) Ill be right back. (Exits.)
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Ross: Nope.
Ross: Hey Mon!
(Ross enters and his hair is a mess.)
Ross: (to Joey) OK, here goes.
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Ross: Hmm?
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What?
Ross: No.
Rachel: Ross, you know what...
Ross: What?
Ross: Nope.
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Ross: Guess what?
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Okay.
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Ross: (to Rachel, as she gets his number) What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home?
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
Ross: Noo!
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Ross: I'm gonna pay for that tonight.
Ross: Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Yes!
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Nooo!
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Because it's breast milk. It's gross.
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Ross: Hmph.
ROSS: Well, she'll call back, don't be such a baby.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Really.
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
Ross: Hey!
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Ross: Wow, hello! You look great!
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Ross: No! Do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Now, do you have any idea what you just said?
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Ross: Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. (Chandler fixes it and a picture frame off the table.) And that goes back up there.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Ross: To wear in front of people?
Joey: I ended up at Ross's place. Oh, I musta missed counted or something. (Looks out the window.) Damn! She's not there anymore. Oh, l-l-look, Ross is doing his 'Watching TV' bit. (We see Ross sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels on his remote.)
ROSS: Lemme see. [looks]
ROSS: Ok, dinner's on.
Ross: You don't, you don't know what your wearing?