words in movies
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
Ross: (hopping) 73! 72! 71!
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: What?
Ross: Well, who's gonna kiss my sister.
Ross: Awww, man! Really?
Ross: That's a good point.
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Ross: All right.
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Ross: Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross you got the history.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Happy New Year, Pheebs!
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Ross: In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week.
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Ross: Ohh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Ross: That's right, uh, Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
Ross: Hi, Pheebs!
Ross: Oh-oh, guess what? I-I have a date with Elizabeth (Talking into Chandler's ear.) Hornswoggle.
Ross: All right, see you later.
Ross: (entering, with Ben) Hi!
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Ross: (after he's left) Okay, seriously, what do you think?
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
Ross: What are you, what are you doing?
Ross: What, to blind my child?
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
Ross: Okay, it must just be me then.
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: (in ecstasy) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh .
Ross: 'Kay!
Ross: Oh my God!
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Ross: Well, you can help me!
Ross: Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Ross: Powder! Yeah! Yeah, I have powder! (Grabs some of her shelf.)
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Ross: Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work?
Ross: Hold on.
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Joey: Ross? You okay?
Ross: They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
Ross: What difference does that make?!
Ross: Dude, what am I gonna
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
Ross: All right, I'm coming out. Hey, can you turn the lights off.
(Ross opens the door and steps into the living room. He has fully removed his pants and holds them wrapped into a ball in front of his crotch. His legs are covered in the powder and lotion paste. He looks terrible.)
Ross: I had a problem.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his horrible trek back home without pants on. The whole gang is there.]
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Ross: Oh, be-because of the leather pants.
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
ROSS: No, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because--
[Ross enters, depressed.]
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
Ross: Oh. Okay, just breathe.
ROSS: Are you all right?
ROSS: Hey, there.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Ross: You really serve people sneezers?
Ross: Wait! Whoa-whoa, you you gave her the ring?
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
ROSS: I uh can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
Ross: What? Come on Rach, tell me what youre thinking?
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
ROSS: (standing up) Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that...
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
ROSS: (runs after her) No, Rach!
RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.
Ross: No, were not.
ROSS: Everybody!
Ross: Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Ross: No! (Pause) Ill be right back. (Exits.)
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Ross: Nope.
Ross: Hey Mon!
(Ross enters and his hair is a mess.)
Ross: (to Joey) OK, here goes.
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Ross: Hmm?
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What?
Ross: No.
Rachel: Ross, you know what...
Ross: What?
Ross: Nope.
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Ross: Guess what?
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Okay.
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Ross: (to Rachel, as she gets his number) What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home?
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
Ross: Noo!
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Ross: I'm gonna pay for that tonight.
Ross: Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Yes!
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Nooo!
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Because it's breast milk. It's gross.
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Ross: Hmph.
ROSS: Well, she'll call back, don't be such a baby.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Really.
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
Ross: Hey!
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Ross: Wow, hello! You look great!
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Ross: No! Do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Now, do you have any idea what you just said?
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Ross: Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. (Chandler fixes it and a picture frame off the table.) And that goes back up there.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Ross: To wear in front of people?
Joey: I ended up at Ross's place. Oh, I musta missed counted or something. (Looks out the window.) Damn! She's not there anymore. Oh, l-l-look, Ross is doing his 'Watching TV' bit. (We see Ross sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels on his remote.)
ROSS: Lemme see. [looks]
ROSS: Ok, dinner's on.
Ross: You don't, you don't know what your wearing?