words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Ross: Real magic does exist.
Ross: Ah, somebodys at the door on the ceiling.
Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.
Ross: Oh, somebodys feeling better.
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Wow!
Ross: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason?
Ross: And hes, hes a total stranger?
Ross: Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex.
Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Ross: Thank you. (to Rachel) So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me?
Rachel: I didnt have to, because I was wearing my I heart Ross sandwich board and ringing my bell.
Ross: Uh-huh.
(Cut to Ross and Monica)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Ross: Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.
Ross: Thats excellent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
Ross: Which one is Gina?
Ross: Thats okay.
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Ross: Ah, which, which one?
Ross: Mary-Angela.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Ross: Where in Cuba?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Ross: Bummer.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yeah, right. Look at you, youre practically giddy.
Ross: No, Im genuinely sorry the Mark thing didnt work out. Look, Rach, I want only good things for you.
Ross: But, you, you dont want to seem too pushy.
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Ross: (to Rachel, as she gets his number) What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home?
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Ross: That is so made up!
Ross: There you go.
Ross: Yeah well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, Id expect nothing less.
Ross: High collar and baggy pants say Im a pro.
Ross: You go get em. (to Monica) What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Ross: No.
Ross: Well, yeah!
Ross: (shyly) You grow up.
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Rachel: (getting of the elevator and noticing Ross) Hey!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)
Ross: Hi. (kisses her)
Ross: Howd did it go?
Ross: Im so proud of you.
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: (to Ross) Oh my God!! (she turns around and hugs Mark, not Ross)
Ross: Congratu!! (sees her hug Mark) -lations-lations.
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
Ross: Right.
Ross: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Hey, I'm more cop than you two!
Ross: I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen.
Ross: We know!
Ross: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Peach pit.
Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?
Ross: Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way!
Ross: The routine!
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
ROSS: [doorbell buzzes] That's, that's Julie. Ju... Julie, Julie. [talks on intercom] Hi Julie.
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
Ross: No!
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Ross: Okay, I'm the baby. (Points at his eye.)
Ross: Really. It's always been you, Rach.
Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?
Ross: All right, it's time for the story of Hanukkah. Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees.
Caitlin: I'm gonna try. (Walks away and Ross closes the door.)
Ross: Uh, oh-ho bye.
Ross: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab.
Rachel: (laughs) I cannot believe Ross is buying this!
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What kind of problem?
Ross: You kissed her.
Ross: Please, he refers to me as wethead.
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Ross: Why does anyone have to be naked?
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Ross: All right, see you guys. (starts to leave)
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
(Ross and Julie exit)
Ross: Yeah. You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: You like it?
Ross: Well, Im not going to go now anyway (he goes to sit down).
Ross: Why did you do that?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
Ross: Rachel, come on. Give us a chance.
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Ross: Oh, come on! Rach, it's-it's not that bad.
Phoebe: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here!
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Ross: (runs out of cards) We need more cards.
Ross: (glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.
Ross: All right, Ill do it.
Ross: She does want to.
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
Ross: Look, we do not repel women OK? That is completely untrue.
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Ross: Its my new apothecary table!
Ross: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly)
Ross: What?
Ross: What?
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Ross: Hey, tell Dan, Thanks.
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Ross: Its my joke.
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Dr. Leedbetter: Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, and the girls are dividing some Chinese takeout, while the sitcom Family Matters is playing on the TV.]
Ross: Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff?
Ross: So, Rach, y'know-y'know how Emily's coming right?
Ross: Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ...
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Phoebe: Ross, where did you get this?!
Ross: Okay, you go grab it!
Ross: Emily's cousin kicked me out!
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
(Ross begins to say something, realizes what Gunther just said, turns, and glares at Chandler. Chandler just shrugs it off.)
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!