words in movies
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Ross: Oh, please...
Ross: When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?
Ross: Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew.
Ross: (Entering) What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place.
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
Ross: Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.
Ross: ...But a man can change. (Downs a shot)
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
Ross: Anyone want me to appraise anything?
(Ross emerges from a toilet marked 'Chicas')
Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one)
Ross: Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Ross: No. It's the one he's licking.
Ross: You're good.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
Ross: When?
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
Ross: Please.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Uh-oh...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: What code?
Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Ross: No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Ross: Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum.
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Ross: I don't know, God, I... well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? She's, she's sexy, she's...
Ross: Well... not in the same way...
Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Well, not playing raquetball!
Ross: He didn't get the goggles!
(They kiss. Ross is watching them)
Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Ross: Why would I tell him?
Ross: Oh...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Ross: You're my friend. I-I had to tell you.
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Ross: Thanks, man, big help.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
Ross: I wasn't- I mean, I-
Ross: I know-
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: Chandler-
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Ross: Joey-
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a...
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.
Ross: Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something?
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Ross: Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.
Ross: You're kidding.
Ross: Wow!
Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"
Ross: So, what's going on now?
Ross: Whaddya see?
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
(Ross knocks on Monica and Rachel's door)
Ross: You mean that?
Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?
Ross: Well, howdya feel?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
ROSS: Buddy, my monkey, my monkey.
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
ROSS: Hi, Julie. [nervous] Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you?
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
Ross: Look, this is a disaster! Can't I please just go?
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Ross: Ohh, okay.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
Ross: Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-its not funny!
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Ross: Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Julia?
Ross: No, but itd be nice if you realised, its just a job!
Ross: You know how close women can get.
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
ROSS: I'm telling you, there's no way he's moving back.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Bonnie: (to Ross) Shoot! I cant go, I have to work!
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
ROSS: Did you see me write one down?
Ross: Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
Ross: All right, maybe it means that too
[Ross and Rachel leave.]
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
Rachel: Ross! Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me....
ROSS: Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Bye Ryan.
Monica: No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.
ROSS: Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try.
ROSS: No, I, I only know Lipson.
ROSS: Is this what you had in mind?
[Ross picks her up.]
Ross: (pause) Yes I would.
Ross: Well, umm, why dont you give him a call?
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
ROSS: Get out!
ROSS: What's she look like?
Ross: Nothing. Oh, actually, great news! I just got off the phone with Emily and it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo!
(Feeling a little better, Ross fetches more coffee.)
Ross: (less sure) Yes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Ross are there.]
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
ROSS: No, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because--
[Ross enters, depressed.]
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
Ross: Oh. Okay, just breathe.
ROSS: Are you all right?
ROSS: Hey, there.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Ross: You really serve people sneezers?
Ross: Wait! Whoa-whoa, you you gave her the ring?
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
ROSS: I uh can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
Ross: What? Come on Rach, tell me what youre thinking?
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
ROSS: (standing up) Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that...
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
ROSS: (runs after her) No, Rach!
RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.
Ross: No, were not.
ROSS: Everybody!
Ross: Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Ross: No! (Pause) Ill be right back. (Exits.)
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Ross: Nope.
Ross: Hey Mon!
(Ross enters and his hair is a mess.)
Ross: (to Joey) OK, here goes.
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Ross: Hmm?