words in movies
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Ross: Oh, please...
Ross: When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?
Ross: Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew.
Ross: (Entering) What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place.
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
Ross: Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.
Ross: ...But a man can change. (Downs a shot)
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
Ross: Anyone want me to appraise anything?
(Ross emerges from a toilet marked 'Chicas')
Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one)
Ross: Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Ross: No. It's the one he's licking.
Ross: You're good.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
Ross: When?
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
Ross: Please.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Uh-oh...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: What code?
Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Ross: No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Ross: Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum.
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Ross: I don't know, God, I... well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? She's, she's sexy, she's...
Ross: Well... not in the same way...
Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Well, not playing raquetball!
Ross: He didn't get the goggles!
(They kiss. Ross is watching them)
Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Ross: Why would I tell him?
Ross: Oh...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Ross: You're my friend. I-I had to tell you.
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Ross: Thanks, man, big help.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
Ross: I wasn't- I mean, I-
Ross: I know-
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: Chandler-
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Ross: Joey-
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a...
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.
Ross: Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something?
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Ross: Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.
Ross: You're kidding.
Ross: Wow!
Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"
Ross: So, what's going on now?
Ross: Whaddya see?
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
(Ross knocks on Monica and Rachel's door)
Ross: You mean that?
Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?
Ross: Well, howdya feel?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Joey: Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: Wha... (gasps) What? What would give you that idea?
Ross: Thanks!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Ah, yeah. We had a really good talk.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Ross: (gasps) OH NO!
Ross: (unpacking his bag) Okay, shoot!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Ross: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying?
Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy.
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
Ross: Duh, you think? (enters the kitchen)
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Joey: Ross?
Ross: So you two are..?
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything.
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
Joey: Ross..
Ross: Hey, you gotta get Mom on the phone. Call Mom! Call Mom!
Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon...
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Ross: Oh, I'm no actor, I'm a professor of palaeontology.
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Ross: Look, I dont feel like dancing, I feel like having a drink. Okay?
Prof. Sherman: (confused) You're welcome. (Ross hugs him again)
Ross: My fajitas!!
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
[Scene: Rosss office, hes unlocking his office door as Elizabeth walks up.]
Ross: What you got over there? Tacos?
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
Ross: No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.
Ross: Totally.
Ross: No!
ROSS: Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?
Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.
Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
Ross: Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more
Ross: Okay.
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
Ross: I don't even know what that's for.
Ross: And have you .. ed?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross is in the living room covering Emma.� Rachel enters wearing a sexy dress.]
Ross: Thanks. Did you stay here all night?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Joey.
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure.
Ross: Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Ross: Let's celebrate with some maple candy!
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW!
Ross: Well, how about this year, instead of Santa, we have fun celebrating Hanukkah?
Ross: Eh, you got a spray-on tan?
Ross: I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan?
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Ross are exiting a pizza place.]
Ross: Well... I like how you look, what are you?
Ross: Two, I think a two.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Ross: Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat.
Ross: You sprayed my front twice!
Ross: (sarcastically) Really!
Ross: I'm a four?
Ross: (annoyed) Ok!
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: (Still yelling) I Know!
Ross: No! I balanced my checkbook.
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH!
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)