words in movies
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three Ps of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah whos started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)
Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Ross: Well, Im gonna go see her. I want to bring her something, what do you think shell like?
(Rachel starts to laugh, and Ross notices her.)
Ross: All right, see you guys. (starts to leave)
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, dont have to sell those cookies anymore.
Ross: Wow, you ah, you really like all this space stuff, huh?
Ross: I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India.
Ross: Huh. Well, good luck to Dad. Say, how many more boxes would you have to sell in order to win?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds do-able. (starts to get out his wallet) How much are the boxes?
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
Ross: Well, that makes sense.
Ross: Yeah, Sarah, anything.
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
Woman: (looking through her peephole, we see Ross standing in the hallway.) Yesss?
Ross: Hi, Im selling Brown Bird cookies.
Ross: No, hi, Im, Im an honorary Brown Bird (does the Brown Bird salute.)
Ross: Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but Im not invited to sleep-overs.
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
Ross: Okay, okay! Im going. Im going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.)
Ross: All right!!
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Ross: ...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Ross: No, but ah, theres coconut in the Hanukkah Menoreoes. I tell you what, Ill put you down for eight boxes, one for each night.
Ross: Mon?
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Ross: Oh, come on, now you know you want em.
Ross: Ill tell you what Mon, Ill give you the first box for free.
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Monica: (comes up and starts looking through Rosss cookie supply) Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures?
Ross: Ah, were out. I sold them all.
Ross: Monica, Im cutting you off.
Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
Ross: Check this out. Five hundred and seventeen boxes!
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Ross: Well you sure used a large font.
Ross: Sweetie, calm down, its gonna be okay.
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Ross: What, that wasnt the great news?
[Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.]
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Ross: Hey now! That was an accident, okay.
Ross: Whats a scrud?
Ross: I dont have too. I can just look at you.
Ross: (to himself) Not nice enough.
Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud.
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
Leader: Whos next? (goes over and stands behind Ross, whos feverishly writing on his form, and clears her throat to get his attention.)
Ross: Hi there!
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes.
Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, youre gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) Thats not how that was supposed to come out.
Ross: That word was swans.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Chandler: (to Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Ross: No.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Ross: Oh come on! Here we go! (picks her up and puts her in the chair) Stand by for mission countdown!
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
Ross: Oh no! An asteroid! (throws the soccer ball off the back of Joeys head.)
Ross: Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella! Rachel: (Defends Amy) Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name!
(Ross finally looks at the woman kissing Mark.)
(Ross starts laughing)
Ross: Fine.
Ross: I know!
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!
[Monica picks up the bag, while Ross closes the door and hits Monica with his tail. They walk into the living room, and Monica empties the bag.]
[cut to later, Rosss team has the ball.]
Ross: Yeah. (closes the door, and goes over and kisses Rachel.)
Ross: Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!
Monica: Well, you guys have been friends forever. Remember the first time that you kissed Ross? How weird that was? You couldn't stop laughing? You got through that.
Ross: Mitzi is.....
Ross: Oh, yeah, why not?
Ross: Did homo-erectus hunt with wooden tools?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
Cailin: (to Ross) Hi! Remember me?
Ross: Its like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Ross: (to the rest of the gang) Were just gonna be friends.
Ross: (quickly talking) Hello, baby. Hello, hello.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, okay you're right.
[Cut to later in that episode. Ross is showing his boss his new place and notices something in the window.]
Cheryl: (sneaking up behind Ross) Guess who?
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Ross: Fine by me; hope she wins.
Ross: That cup is mine!
Ross: Would you excuse us for a second? (Pulls Rachel off to the side) Umm . what are you doing?
[Scene: Outside Cheryl's apartment, Ross and Cheryl are kissing]
Ross: (loudly) Good luck!
(Ross reveals a bag of apples.)
Ross: Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
ROSS: This is so cool. You're actually gonna be on television.
Ross: Whats up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
ROSS: And you had no idea they weren't getting along?
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the brides maid test.]
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Pshhshhh!
Ross: Monicas right. Were talking about getting married here. Okay? She-she cant just rush into this.
Ross: All right, gentlemen, youre up first.
Rachel: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel?
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Ross: Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I really, I just have to get it out.
ROSS: G-gift? The thing's not the gift?
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
Monica and Ross: Scuse us
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
Ross: (entering carrying a garment bag) Hey!
Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
Ross: Yeah, that's kinda what I meant by "bye!"
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: Hello. Oh good. Ross could you put up some of these flyers for me? (He smiles at her.) OH!! Demon!! Demon!!
Ross: Pheebs
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!
Ross: What?
Ross: Yeah, okay.
Ross: Oh, hi Chloe.
Ross: And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed all over the crossword.
Joey: All right look, Ross, hes right. Emilys great, shes great! But this way too soon, youre only gonna scare her!
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Ross: Thanks, Dad, really, I ju... you know, I just, I just needed to know, um... when did you start to feel like a father?
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
(Chandler and Ross both laugh)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Ryan are there. Ryan is in uniform, getting ready to leave.]
Ross: Veto. Stewart?
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
Ross: Two seconds
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are arguing.]
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: Everything? Even the TV?
Janice: (entering) Ross you left you scarf in (sees everyone.) Hey you guys. (Does the laugh.)
Ross: Oh, who? Me?
(Ross is at a loss for words.)
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
Ross: Hey. Oh, Im sorry, this is Cailin.
[Scene: The Ultimate Fighting Championship, Ross and Monica are there watching Pete.]
Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dont
Ross: But having a dove place the ring on your finger wouldve been no problem?
Ross: Chandler, I want you to run a post pattern to the left, okay. And sweetie..
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. Are you a, uh, a friend of Rachel's?
ROSS: (putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.)� Why?� (He starts to lower his arm.)
Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.