words in movies
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Ross: (checks) Yeah.
Ross: No! But we-we didnt have sex-uh, did we? I mean, I dont remember much about last night, it was such a blur.
Ross: And we didnt have sex.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Rachel: (To Ross) I dont know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night.
Ross: Yeah!
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch.
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I dont think surgerys the answer here.
Ross: What?
Ross: No-no, thats-thats not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Ross: Yes, exactly!
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
Ross: Im asking you to do me a favor.
{Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to you.}
Ross: And as my wife I think you should grant me this favor.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Ross: All right. All right, Ill do it.
(Ross turns and leaves.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
[Time lapse, Ross still laying a lot out the states.]
Ross: Oh, where are you guys going?
Ross: Nope.
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No problem.
Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, its Ross and that girl.
ROSS: OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake.
ROSS: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful
Ross: Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me.
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Ross: Dude! How-how did you write this?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Ross: I gotta get going. Bye Chandler.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
ROSS: No, you let me fini...
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
ROSS: Better not be doin' these in order.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering and Mona from the wedding recognizes him.]
Ross: Hey, wheres Chandler?
Ross: (walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable) Okay dad.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Is uh, is Monica here?
Ross: He left that.
(Ross laughs and Phoebe points harder.)
Ross: (scared) I will, I will find him.
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Ross: Oh damn!
Ross: Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Ross: Why?!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Ross: (shocked) Gunther?!
Ross: What? Your-your list?
Ross: (sitting down) Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about?
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
Ross: Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late.
Ross: No! Hey! Hey! We cant!
Ross: Why?!
Ross: Give me two.
Ross: Okay, wish me luck.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Ross: All right, try pedaling.
Ross: That is an old, Chinese woman!
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions.
Ross: So this is your office?
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Ross: For what? For letting you throw me out of your office?
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Okay.
[Scene: Chandlers Hotel Room, Ross is getting Chandler ready.]
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Ross: In the death seat?!!
ROSS: Look, don't blame us. You guys coulda been there, you know.
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
Ross: Oh my God! Monica!
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
(Ross just glares at her.)
Ross: Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second?
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Chandler: Ross! (He starts to get up.)
Ross: What?
Ross: What?! What?! Talking about what?!
Ross: You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Phoebe (walking to Ross carrying a black leather jacket): Hey, check this out! It’s totally you!
Phoebe and Ross: Cigarettes?!!
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Ross: The carbon, its messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.
Ross: Huh. This is nice.
ROSS: Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?
Monica: Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after youre done.
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
Ross: Rings?
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is running up the stairs. Note: This show continues where the last one left off.]
Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks each page out of the way.)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, umm no you didnt. I did.
Ross: Oh, you like it? You wanna know where I got it?
Ross: OK. Here goes. For a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Ross: Ah. Joey youre-youre having lunch with my mom?
Ross: That's nice. Get out Let's go, come on.
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
Ross: (Putting the bread up to his nose.) Ohh, I just like the smell. (Sniffing it.) Mmmm.
ROSS: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.