words in movies
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Ross: I have to say Tupolo Honey by Van Morrison.
Ross: Hey Mon!
Ross: Nope.
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
Ross: Hmm?
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What?
Ross: No.
Ross: Nope.
Rachel: Ross, you know what...
Ross: What?
Ross: Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi?
Ross: Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia.
Ross: Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool.
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Ross: Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Guess what?
Ross: They published my paper.
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Joey: Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are entering]
Ross: How could you have told her?
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'.
Ross: Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her.
Ross: Noo!
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: Hmph. So what you, you tell each other everything?
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Ross: Nooo!
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Okay, okay, I'll go first.
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
Ross: Yes!
Ross: Yes! Wow, well, that-that was easy. Okay, you-you go.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Hmph.
Ross: With the belly-button ring? Oh, muhawa!
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Ross: I said 'share' not 'scare'. Go sit over there! (Chandler goes over and sits at a table and puts his head down).
Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Ross: No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's (turns and sees his Mom standing where Rachel is)
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
Ross: Rachel, come on. Give us a chance.
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Ross: Oh, come on! Rach, it's-it's not that bad.
Phoebe: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here!
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Ross: (runs out of cards) We need more cards.
Ross: (glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.
Ross: All right, Ill do it.
Ross: She does want to.
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
Ross: Look, we do not repel women OK? That is completely untrue.
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Ross: Its my new apothecary table!
Ross: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly)
Ross: What?
Ross: What?
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Ross: Hey, tell Dan, Thanks.
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Ross: Its my joke.
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Dr. Leedbetter: Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, and the girls are dividing some Chinese takeout, while the sitcom Family Matters is playing on the TV.]
Ross: Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff?
Ross: So, Rach, y'know-y'know how Emily's coming right?
Ross: Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ...
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Phoebe: Ross, where did you get this?!
Ross: Okay, you go grab it!
Ross: Emily's cousin kicked me out!
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
(Ross begins to say something, realizes what Gunther just said, turns, and glares at Chandler. Chandler just shrugs it off.)
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Ross: Fine, Im mentally unstable.
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Ross: Dude, what am I gonna
Ross: Wow! I didnt know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.
Ross: Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Its my joke.
ROSS: Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'?
Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don't live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What's a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross)
Ross: Hey Mon.
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Ross: Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Ross: Its your joke.
Ross: Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Ross: No way.
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
(Joey, Chandler and Ross enter.)
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Ross: Hey!
ROSS: Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him.
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)
Ross: Hi Jill.
Ross: No! No sir umm, she means a lot to me. I mean, I careI-I love Rachel.
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
Ross: Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? (Russell glares at him.) I will think about the therapy.
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
Ross: Yeah, I want my money back.
Ross: Your good friend?
Ross: Whats her last name?
Ross: So really, what'd ya have?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Phoebe and Ross: Yeah, we went shopping!
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
Ross: Yeah! Oh, I-I love this babies!
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Ross: Well. Hey
Ross: Ross, wants a pajmena?
Ross: Oh stop.
Ross: No, you stop!
Rachel: Ross, it's too hard.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Rachel: With Ross and my sister?
Rachel: With Ross and Jill?