words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
RICHARD: What're you doing?
RICHARD: Are you remaking the bed?
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
RICHARD: You're pretty much running that risk either way.
RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.
RICHARD: Oh, alright.
RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica enters her bedroom with a roll of duct tape. Richard is sitting on the bed.]
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
RICHARD: You're strict.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
RICHARD: Thank you.
RICHARD: You're gonna do what to my clocks.
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
RICHARD: Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen.
RICHARD: No come on. Come on tell me.
RICHARD: Come on.
RICHARD: No that's not true. That is not true.
RICHARD: Yeah.
RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard and Monica are in bed.]
RICHARD: Monica, wake up. Monica.
RICHARD: I thought of a thing.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
RICHARD: Yeah. How 'bout that.
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Richard: That can be arranged.
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
[Richard enters]
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: Really?
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
RICHARD: Oh?
RICHARD: Two.
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: Right, and...
RICHARD: Right.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: No.
RICHARD: Shall we?
RICHARD: Hey.
RICHARD: Ok, just one more point.
RICHARD: Is everything all right?
RICHARD: Well.
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
RICHARD: Ohh, brisk tonight.
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
RICHARD: I love you, too.