words in movies
Joey: Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard!
Chandler: Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked dance for her... with scarves!
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
RICHARD: What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em.
Richard: Shes not here and please come in.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Richard: No its not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven.
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
RICHARD: My parents are dead.
Rachel: Because its Richards son! Its like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
RICHARD: Are you remaking the bed?
Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing?
RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
Richard: Oh. Look, just friends, I wont grope you. I promise.
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Richard: That can be arranged.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
[Richard enters]
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
RICHARD: Happy birthday.