words in movies
Richard: (standing behind her, without his moustache) I can help with that.
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Richard: Hi!
Monica: Wow! Your lip went bald. (Richard pays the clerk) Hey, thanks.
Richard: So, you look great.
Richard: No you do. You... just...
Richard: Youve got panties stuck to your leg.
Richard: Its good to see you.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Richard: I missed this.
Richard: So, you wanna get a hamburger or something?
Richard: Oh. Look, just friends, I wont grope you. I promise.
Richard: No its not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven.
Monica: Yeah well, I ran into Richard.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
Richard: So when people complement me on my cooking should I, what do I say?
Richard: Ew, this feels very weird.
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Richard: Okay.
Richard: Tomatoes are squishing.
(Richard squishes a little too hard and some lands on his shirt.)
Richard: Op.
Richard: Yeah.
Richard: What?
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
Richard: You really sure?
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, shes in bed with Richard.]
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Richard: You want me to cancel it?
Richard: Okay.
Richard: Exactly. (pushes her back)
(She goes into her bedroom, and sees Richard who has covered the room in roses and has two glasses of wine and a rose between his lips.)
Richard: Hello.
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
Richard: (outside the bedroom) Really?! Well, its just like everyone elses apartment. Its got rooms, walls, and ceilings.
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! (She frantically tries to clean up the bedroom as Richard starts the tour.)
Richard: Ah well, this is the living room.
Richards Date: Impressive.
Richard: All right. This is the kitchen.
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
Richards Date: Were still on this side of the door.
Richard: Um-hmm.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Richard: Oh shoot! Maybe next time. (yawns) Thanks for a lovely evening. (shows her out)
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Richard: Well, you seem fine.
Richard: You mean like exclusive friends?
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Richard: I know I couldnt. So....
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
Richard: (lying down) Ow!!
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
RICHARD: What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em.
Richard: Shes not here and please come in.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
Rachel: Because its Richards son! Its like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!
RICHARD: My parents are dead.
Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing?
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
RICHARD: Are you remaking the bed?
RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
Richard: That can be arranged.
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
[Richard enters]
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: Really?
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.