words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
RACHEL: Hey.
RACHEL: Uhh, the mailman, the super.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.]
[Ross approaches Rachel at counter.]
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
RACHEL: How have you never been on Oprah?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.]
RACHEL: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
RACHEL: No, nothin'.
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
[Ross approaches Rachel, away from everyone else.]
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
[Rachel enters from her room]
RACHEL: Oh, gosh, it's hot in here.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
RACHEL: Did you just break the radiator?
RACHEL: I'll call the super.
RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.
RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.
RACHEL: [answering the door] Mr. Treeger.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah, well hey, welcome to our sauna.
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
RACHEL: What'cha gonna' do?
RACHEL: Nice seizing. . . gel boy.
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?
RACHEL: Huh-huh, no act--no, uhh, that, that is basil.
RACHEL: Huh-hoo, yeah, no, it's still basil.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing]
RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
Rachel: Ok?
Rachel: Hey, how'd it go?
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too sluttyHi Kash!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I wanna ask you something.
Rachel: (getting the point) Yeah. Gotcha.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, yknow if-if there was just like one little area where Ithat I think we needwe would need to work on; I-I would think it was were just not crazy enough!
Rachel: And your fly's still open...
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, you dont want to do that, then youre gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
Rachel: Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?
Rachel: Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this.
Rachel: You guys wanna get some coffee?
Rachel: Oh, I know. Look at him.
(He hangs up the phone and tears the note off the pad.� Then, he stops and re-reads it.� Rachel enters.)
[Scene: Barbados, hotel lounge. David, Phoebe and Rachel have just arrived.]
Rachel: Pardon?
(Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.
Rachel: Of course!
Rachel: Oh no. No-no! I think my water just broke.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I think Im gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say?
Rachel: Honey dont worry, it was my mistake.
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and its almost seven oclock.
Rachel: Okay (desperately hands the receiver over) no, you do it.
Rachel: Then what's with all the bananas?
Rachel: Oh God twenty seconds my ass!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
[Scene: Outside Danny's apartment, Danny and Rachel are returning from their date.]
Rachel: Who's this from?
Rachel: Well, thank you, Melanie.
Rachel: I meant er, (struggling to concentrate) young, young, I meant young, young to be a doctor. Oh good, Rach.
(Rachel picks up the next gift.)
Rachel: What did you just say?
Rachel: Oh.... my God.
Rachel: I mean, this is unbelievable.
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
Rachel: Now, that-that was a good thing that I told you, right?
Chandler: Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first! (she leaves)
Monica: Rachel, what're you gonna say to him?
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character.
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
Rachel: Uh... I don't know.
Rachel: Yeah, but Mon thats totally different. He was youre health teacher.
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Rachel: No, I meant with the dropper over here. (Points at Chandler.)
Rachel: Wha...
Rachel: No!
Rachel: No, I'm just....
Rachel: I don't know... sometimes it doesn't.
Rachel: (confused) Huh?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Who is it?
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Rachel: C'mon up.
Rachel: I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar...
Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
Rachel: Would you excuse me, please? I'm trying to have a date here.
Rachel: Youre out of Diet Coke.
Rachel: Ross, it's too hard.
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Rachel: Ross, you're like my best friend.
Rachel: Right! You're right!
Rachel: You know what?
Rachel: If we broke up, and I lost you...
Rachel: Wow.
(Rachel leaves.)
Rachel: What?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.
Rachel: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: Then, no.
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
Rachel: (lays down cards) Full house.
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
Rachel: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just cant pretend that didnt happen can I?
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
Rachel: How is she?
Rachel: I'm okay.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Rachel: No we werent! It was nothing! It was one night, senior year we went to a party, had a lot of sangria and yknow, ended up kissing for a bit.
Rachel: Yeah.. yeah right.. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
Rachel: No, I was ten. I just developed early.
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Rachel: No. No-no-no-no.