words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Rachel and Monica: Hey!
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean...
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Rachel: So fellas
Rachel: fellas
Rachel: has your girlfriend got the butt?
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Rachel: Shake that nasty butt...
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!
[Cut to the hallway, Phoebe is outside getting some last minute instructions from Rachel.]
Rachel: No-no Ph-Ph-Ph-Ph (She starts laughing.)
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (worried) What?
Ross: Yknow what? Yknow what? Rachel, just-just drop it.
Rachel: Oh God.
Rachel: Morning. You wanted to see me?
Rachel: Okay look Mr. Zelner
[Scene: Mr. Zelners Office, Rachel is knocking on the door.]
Rachel: Yeah. (Motions for him to continue.)
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Chandler, can you give us a minute?
Rachel: Well maybe he saw your hand slip briefly from the ten and two oclock position.
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy!
(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)
[Scene: Phoebe's class, the class has already started and Rachel walks in late.]
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
RACHEL: Oh my God.� I can't believe you live in that building.� My grandmother lives in that building.� Ida Green?� No sense of personal space?� Kind of smells like chicken?� Looks like a potato.
Rachel: I, uh, think you already are.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I like him a lot.
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Rachel: Thank you were so excited
Rachel: Hmmm .
Woman: (To Ross and Rachel) Congratulations you two!
Rachel: Yeah, otherwise Im not going.
Ross and Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily.
Man: Rachel!
Rachel: Oh
Rachel: Open it! Open it! Open it!
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
(Cut to Rachel and Ross)
Rachel: (to Ross) Oh my God!! (she turns around and hugs Mark, not Ross)
Rachel: Shhh! I want to hear the rest!
Rachel: Oh yeah. Thats a great story.
Rachel: Amy! <pause> Yes I do.. I really do. <grabs Ross' hand for support>
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesnt have a hole underneath it.)
Rachel: It was really fun being married to you tonight.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Rachel: Well, that wouldve been very hard to say no too.
Rachel: (joining Phoebe outside) Hey Pheebs.
Rachel: Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something?
Rachel: Goodnight
Rachel: I will think about it.
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Rachel: Okay, dont listen to him. Please?
Rachel: Yeah, no. Ross has a PhD.
Rachel: Oh stupid metric system!
Phoebe: For God sakes, its Rachel!
Rachel: Hey, do you guys have any extra ribbon?
Rachel: God she is unbelievable.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Rachel: Yeah! I got my girls.
Rachel: What? What happened?
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Rachel: Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?
Rachel: Hey, come on now!
Rachel: Have you been working out?
(Ross continues to talk to her as the camera pans to show Rachel standing in the doorway.)
Rachel: You too!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.
Rachel: Honey, why dont you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Yknow what? I am going to do something today. Im not just gonna sit around like some old lady. Im gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
(Rachel throws some of hers down.)
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Rachel: Well hello! So, when are we gettin back out on the water matey?
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
RACHEL: I am. Let me just get my coat.
Rachel: And Im Rachel, an admirer of the building.
<Ross and Rachel go in the kitchen>
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
Rachel: Well, as long as we are clear about that. (Exits smugly.)
Rachel: No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!