words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Rachel: Hey look-look, Phoebes talking to uh, Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife.
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
Rachel: Why? Is he? He is! Isnt he? Hes dating that slut in marketing!
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, shes returning from lunch to see Tag not doing his sit-ups.]
Rachel: Oh, no sit-ups today Tag?
Rachel: Oh, well drop and give me ten more!
Rachel: Uh, I-I had a drink with lunch. Did those cost reports come in?
Rachel: Oh, great could you make me four copies of those?
(He gets up to make the copies leaving Rachel alone with his stuff. She notices his sweater in his backpack and holds it up to her nose as Melissa, a coworker, walks up.)
Melissa: Hey Rachel!
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Rachel: No. Why?
Rachel: Really?! Got a little crush on Tag there do ya?
Rachel: Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This aint a locker room, okay? But, yknow I remember him saying that-that he had plans tonight.
Rachel: Oh yeah. All right, back to work.
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I dont want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm here. (Hands him one.)
Rachel: Yeah, I dont think so Joe.
Rachel: Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight?
Rachel: How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? Ill pay.
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Yeah!
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Rachel: Ohh thats nice.
Rachel: Wo-women? You mean like old women?
Rachel: (Pause) Oh.
Rachel: Thats great! Wow man, so Joey mustve really taught you some stuff huh?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Rachel: Yknow, all the women.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Rachel: All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Joey nods his head questioningly and Rachel nods no.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Tag: Oh, yeah, this is from Rachel.
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is entering.]
Tag: Good morning Rachel.
Rachel: Hi! (He hands her, her mail) Thanks, hey so uh whatd you do last night?
Rachel: Oh yeah? Another night of birdogging the chickas?
Rachel: Wow! I did not see that coming.
Rachel: Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, yknow?
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Sp-spoil?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Well, I-Im startin too.
Rachel: Yes! Hell yes!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Id love to!
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Rachel: Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains.
Phoebe: (entering with Rachel) and I-I can't take it! Y'know? I'm just, always afraid one of them is gonna catch me with the other one. It's making me crazy.
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Rachel: No, come on, I'm totally ok. (hugging him) I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own.
Rachel: Okay. (pause).(acting) Hello Drake, I'm surprised to see you here.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Rachel: (to Monica) Allll done!
(Rachel enters with the "cat" and the chick and the duck start to get riled up.)
[From the background we hear a crash and Gunther comes running out of the back room, pushing people aside, reaching for Rachel.]
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Monica: (sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet!
Rachel: But mom, I really know what Im doing. I can handle this.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think itd be really good.
Rachel: I dont know, it was you and a bunch of albino kids.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are having a tug-of-war over the disputed candlesticks.]
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Monica: Wait. Rachel, no, hes married. Married! If you dont realize that, I cant help you.
Rachel: Nooo! Nooooo! You lent me Monica's earrings?! I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff!
Rachel: I dont like sitting up here! Im just gonna over (She starts to get up.)
Rachel: Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Yknow, start the heeling process?
Rachel: Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn't want anything to, you know, drive her away.
Rachel: Do you got your gracious loser face?
Rachel: Ohhhh!! (Mindy starts to sob.) ...What? What?
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is getting some coffee as Joey enters. He's looking a little puffy, but that's probably from the large number of different color sweaters he's wearing.]
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, Ross is drinking a beer while Rachel is examining herself in the mirror.]
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Rachel: Honey, come on! You live far away! You're not related. You lift right out.
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Rachel: Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! (They walk away from the desk.)
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
Rachel: Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on?
Rachel: Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your mouth.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Rachel: A-ha!
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Rachel: Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?
Rachel: Oh no! No! It's actuallyit's very sweet. It's very sweet. Look! (Goes to pet it and it hisses at her.) Yeah, do you want it?
Rachel: You guys, I'm telling you, when she runs, she looks like a cross between Kermit The Frog and The Six Million Dollar Man.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross is fixing a display, Rachel is waiting patiently.]
Rachel: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Rachel: Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine-(turns over the note)-teen blocks. Oh. (They all come out from Monica's bedroom) Oh my God.
(Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. They look at each other, embarassed.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Rachel: Yeah! Hi Emma. Hey, why do you think she wont take my breast?
Rachel: No Monica! Im serious! Oh, maybe I should just forget about it. Become a lesbian or something.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Rachel: Remember?! Wecome on both had the sarongs on, and we had the-the coconut bikini tops
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is lamenting to Chandler and Rachel about his troubles in his new building.]
Rachel: Make love? What are you a girl?
Rachel: They're in a caaar...
Rachel: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Rachel: See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... (he kisses her) and you do that ... (they kiss again)
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Rachel: Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious ...
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heavens name are you doing here?
Rachel: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
Phoebe: (stopping her) No Rachel! They got here first!
Rachel: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
Rachel: so basically you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again.
Rachel: Monica! Look! Hi! What do ya think? (shows her, her ring)
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Rachel: Oh my God! You guys this is so great! I mean it's so unexpected! I mean Chandler's birthday is even before mine!
Rachel: Three people. Joshuas not gonna be there.
Rachel: Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
BEST MAN: (standing up) Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. (clears throat, and starts reading his toast) I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
Rachel: And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant?
Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Rachel: (screams and grabs a potato masher to defend herself) Sorry. Im sorry.
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)