words in movies
Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored!
Rachel: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Amy: (yelling from outside) Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! (she knocks on the door again) I have to talk to you!!
Amy: You're not Rachel.
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey?
Rachel: So now, what are you doing here?
Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Amy: Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait? (Rachel goes to Emma)
[Scene: Rachel's room. Rachel is attending to Emma. Amy is standing behind her.]
Rachel: God!
Rachel: Oh, I know, isn't she?
Rachel: All right. What's your news, Amy?
Rachel: What? Oh my God! To who?
Rachel: A-And??
Rachel: No, what's he like?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Huh... wow, so he's gotta be...
Rachel: Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...
Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn’t love. Do you remember Barry?
Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
Rachel: Ok.
Rachel: Ok, let’s keep talking.
[Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey’s door and Rachel opens the door.]
Rachel: Amy, hi!
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Rachel: Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!
Rachel: But Erin Brockovich had her own house.
(Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.]
Rachel: Yeah... Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling ‘Myron, get off!’
Rachel: Joey, I can’t do that!
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Rachel: No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.
Rachel: Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don’t think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it’s gonna take patience, but that’s ok.
Rachel: Amy, that’s what I was supposed to wear today, that’s why I hung it on the door.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Rachel: Well, what happened?
Rachel: Oh, that is so tacky.
Rachel: Phoebe, that’s huge!
Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
Rachel: I think it could be kind of great!
Rachel: (Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement)
Amy: (To Rachel) Nana is on the phone (Hands the phone over to Rachel)
Rachel: (Takes the phone) Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!!
Rachel: (Into the phone) Hello? (announces to Amy) Oh, it's our nanny! (goes back to the phone conversation) Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! (Hangs up) (To Ross) That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today?
Rachel: Menstrual cramps.
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Rachel: (Thinks for a moment) Well, actually...
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Why not?
Ross: Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella! Rachel: (Defends Amy) Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name!
Rachel: (Shocked) Wha... the next one?
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
Rachel: Absolutely.
(Rachel comes in, sees Amy and Emma)
Rachel: (To Emma) Hey! Hi, how's my girl?
Rachel: (sounds excited) Yeah!
(Rachel looks at Emma)
Rachel: (not excited anymore) You pierced her ears!?
(Rachel looks very shocked)
Rachel: You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me?
Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Rachel: Ugh. (takes the hat and covers Emma's head and half her face with it)
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Rachel: Nah, I don't really want her to see.
(Rachel looks worried)
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Rachel: Nothing.
Rachel: Oh, they're real!
Rachel: I know, I know, and you were right Ross. (To Amy) You are soo irresponsible I am never letting you baby-sit ever again!
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
Rachel: Oh yeah? Since when?
Rachel: (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?
Rachel: (shouting) Babies don't care if they're slim.
(Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.]
(Rachel and Amy enter)
Rachel: Joey, get Amy's bags, she is moving out!
Rachel: You put holes in my baby's ears!
Rachel: (gasps) I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help.
Rachel: Excuse me?
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?
Rachel: (doesn't believe what she's hearing) Seriously?
Rachel: Hips or thighs?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh! Oh my God! I thought she was on Atkins.
Rachel: (embarrassed) Oh, I can give you that.
Rachel: Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.
Rachel: Did you just say Emma?
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Amy are walking on the sidewalk.]
Rachel: So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?
Rachel: That's shocking!
Amy: Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude!
RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing?
Rachel: Oh wow, it's so beautiful...
(Rachel laughs)
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
Rachel: Well, not this second!
Rachel: Uh, Pauls Caf�. They got great food and its really romantic.
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Rachel: I made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant.
Rachel: What do you really want to do?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Rachel: Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor?
Rachel: OK, thank you.
Rachel: What? You really think she's hot?
Rachel: And Joey?
Rachel: Oh, wow, Molly is just great!
Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee)
Rachel: Hello.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Rachel: Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep.
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel comes in and Gavin is there]
Rachel: I was giving you an appology and you were totally checking her out!
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Rachel: Well, yknow I was thinking of moving the couch over here.
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Rachel: N-no, Emma dropped her sock.
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel and Gavin there, phone rings, Gavin picks it up]
Rachel: Hi!
Kim: Ohh honey come here. (Hugging Rachel.) Ohh it will be ok. Weve all been there.
Gavin: Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. (hangs up) (to Rachel) Yes?
Rachel: Shh!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
Rachel: Yeah, sure!
(Phoebe knocks on the door with the wine and Chandler answers it. Rachel hides next to the door.)
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Rachel: What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Rachel: Mmm hmm.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe thats our baby.
Rachel: No not that. I kissed Gavin last night.
Rachel: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
Rachel: Who is it?
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Rachel: Come on! Serious-ser-ser-seriously, what did she mean by that? (Mimicking Monica.) Especially you!
Rachel: Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!
Rachel: So did I
Rachel: It's just a cold
Rachel: Oh no no no
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Right, right, yes!
Rachel: What? What's the matter?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: OK.
Rachel: I thought it was Ross.
Rachel: There isn't. There is totally isn't.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Yes
Rachel: So seriously...rodeo clown?
Rachel: People keep saying that. Oh I'm sorry Gavin
Rachel: No, but I was doing my thing and everything was going according to the plan!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.]
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
Rachel: Ew! Gross.
Rachel: No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.
Ross: Small... (Rachel comes back into the living room and catches Ross mocking her.)
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I�ve been looking for you everywhere!
Rachel: (whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a "whatever" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired.
Rachel: You�ve being seeing someone?
Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma�s mother.
Rachel: Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants shes always wanted!
Rachel: (entering, happily) Gooood morning!!
Monica: Rachel, how did this happen?
Rachel: Wow. She does that a lot!
Rachel: How do you know about that?
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Rachel: Oh. Oh! (Takes a slug of tequila.)
Rachel: Score.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh yeah.
Rachel: What? Who?
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Rachel: Whoa, how do you know about that?
Rachel: Ross?
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Yes.
<Amy pushes Rachel and Monica goes berserk and runs around the table>