words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital, Ross and Rachel, whos in a wheelchair, are arriving in the waiting room for the maternity ward.]
Rachel: (deadpan) Yes, the hard part is truly over.
Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.)
Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, Im gonna go have a baby.
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Rachel: (interrupting her) Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Im sorry, semi-private? We (Laughs), we asked for a private room.
Rachel: Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! (They walk away from the desk.)
Rachel: Give her some money.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Rachel: (standing up) Okay. Yknow what? Id have to say I really dont care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in this city and we have no problem toWhoa! (She starts a contraction) Oh gosh! Whoa!
Rachel: Ow! Ow! Contraction. (Sits back down.) Ow-ow! Ow-ow! (Starts breathing heavily.)
Rachel: Yeah, it couldnt hurt to look.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Rachel is in bed, Ross is fooling around, and Dr. Long is checking on Rachel.]
Rachel: Oh, okay.
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Ross: Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! (Hes looking at the stirrups on the other bed in the room and Rachel groans. Ross then hops into the bed and puts his legs into the stirrups.) Never done this before.
Rachel: Yeah well it looks great!
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Rachel: Hi!
Marc: Oh hi Rachel.
Rachel: How are you?
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Rachel: Oh.
Marc: Hey! Smile! (Points his camera at Ross and Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
Rachel: Here comes another contraction.
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Rachel: Oh, thats veryReally very-very okay.
Julie: Have you felt Rachels cervix Ross?
Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I dont think well be doing that.
Ross: (simultaneously as Rachel) Were not gonna do that.
Julie: Well, if you like you can feel Rachels and then feel mine to compare.
Rachel: Oh. Oh wait no.
Rachel: No-no-dont! Dont leave me here with these people.
Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father!
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: Gimmie! (Takes the ring and puts it in his coat pocket as Rachel enters the hallway.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh, thank you so much for coming. Ross, get in here!
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why arent you with Rachel?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Rachel: New people.
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction!
Rachel: Ooh! Ow!!
Ross: No-no, Im Im sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy. (He closes the screen and stares wide-eyed at Rachel.)
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Rachel: Ross.
Rachel: Hes looking at me.
(Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Rachel: Yeah it was.
(Rachel motions for Ross to close the privacy screen, which he does.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Dr. Long is checking on Rachel again.]
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Dr. Long: We are moving along, just slowly. (Rachel lies back and sighs.) Dont worry, youre doing great. Ill be back soon. (Exits.)
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Im not waiting! Im gonna push this baby out! Im doing it! I mean its what? Three centimeters? Thats gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.)
Rachel: Oh stupid metric system!
Rachel: Oh for the love of God!
Rachel: Oh come on!!
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Rachel: Go get back on that case honey!
Rachel: Okay, well then bring her in.
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: I get it!
Rachel: Oh we-we didnt.
Rachel: Just tell me how.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Rachel: Oh hi.
Rachel: Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when youre trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Rachel: Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! (Starts another contraction as Dr. Long enters.)
Rachel: Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: My God. Okay. (Another woman enters.) Ha-ha-ha beat ya! Sucker!
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is finally giving birth.]
Rachel: 3-2-1 oh!!
Rachel: I cant. I cant push anymore, I cant.
Rachel: Oh God twenty seconds my ass!!
Rachel: Dont say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what?
Rachel: Oh God. Is she gonna be okay?
Dr. Long: Rachel youre gonna have to push even harder, nothings happening!
Rachel: Im sorry, I cant!
Rachel: I cant!
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Ross: No! Come on letsOne more time! One final push! Ready? 1 2 3! (Rachel pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Ross and knocking him down.)
Rachel: Are you okay?
Rachel: Oh God!
Rachel: Oh, shes so tiny. (Starts crying) Whered she go?
Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, shes really tiny.
(Dr. Long hands her to Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, shes looking at me. Hi! I know you.
Rachel: No, not yet.
Rachel: Oh no, Baby Girl Geller-Green.
(Ross and Rachel look into each others eyes and kiss.)
Rachel: Hello baby girl.
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
Rachel: Here. (Hands her to Monica.)
Rachel: What?
(Rachel starts crying again.)
Rachel: Oh nothing I Sorry, I just cant stop crying.
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Rachel: I was reliving it.
Phoebe: Ohhh. (Hands her back to Rachel.)
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Ross: Wow! Umm, okay uh everyone this is Isabella. (Rachel starts crying.) What?
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Rachel: Oh great! Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore.
Rachel: Well what are we going to do?
Rachel: Well tell us! What are they?
Rachel: And if its a girl?
Rachel: Oh, just tell us! Were not gonna want it!
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh honey, but you love that name.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Rachel is putting Emma down for a nap.]
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks at Aaron and recoils in horror.) Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesnt he?
Rachel: Oh, Im fine. (Gasps in pain as she sits down.)
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Rachel: Uh-huh. (Ross takes off his coat and sets in on a chair.) Yknow what I was, I was thinking about?
Rachel: Umm that kiss before we left the apartment. That was some-something huh?
Rachel: (pause) Right.
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Phoebe: I just cant decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Nothing.
Rachel: Really its nothing. Im just
Rachel: Ive just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
Rachel: Oh please, hell be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs.
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Rachel: I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh?
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you?
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? Theyre right on that chair under Rosss coat.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Joey.
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous?
Rachel: I haven't seen him in so long!
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?
Rachel: Well, at least you make each other laugh.
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Rachel: Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just dont date Ross! Theres a million other guys out there, you just
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
Rachel: Oh my God! Look at this!
Rachel: (jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!
RACHEL: You know.
RACHEL: Thank you. So are we good?
RACHEL: We're good?
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Ohh no you dont! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!
RACHEL: Ben just said hi.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: Guess what. Ben just said his first word.
RACHEL: Take care.
Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? (Ross cant answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch. Ross sits down.]
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. (Checks her watch.) But then the day comes! And thats every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
Rachel: Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant!
RACHEL: Noo.
RACHEL: What's the matter with you?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Hi. [Ross turns to Rachel and they hug]
Rachel: What are you shushing?
Rachel: I dont know, Im sorry, I always slept in the back when we drove up here.
<Amy runs towards Rachel and Rachel puts her arm out, hand on Amy's head and Amy starts trying to hit her but is missing, Rachel is moving backwards towards the table when her hand swipes the one plate left on the table on to the floor>
RACHEL: Ohh, what is in that?
(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
RACHEL: Are you kidding me?
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?
Rachel: Bathroom's up there.
RACHEL: Ok, so uh, who wants the last hamburger?
Rachel: Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that Im looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!
RACHEL: What's the matter?
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
RACHEL: Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand.
RACHEL: How did you make $17.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
Rachel: I am sorry! Again... I don't know, I don’t know what happened, I must be nervous!
RACHEL: Oh, thank God.
RACHEL: What happened to uh, MEG.?
Ross: Well, okay so, I dont have it all worked out quite yet. Just dont say anything to Rachel, please?
Rachel: Oh, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back!
RACHEL: Why the voice.
Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are busy unpacking.]
RACHEL: For what?
RACHEL: Oh no.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: I, I don't have it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
Rachel: (to the woman) Excuse us for a minute. (They go into the kitchen.) You didnt tell her to come?!
Rachel: Oh, no, no, I don't have one. I just need to talk to my friend.
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Rachel: Well Im alone and I just bought fifteen dollars worth of candy bars, what do you think?
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!
Rachel: Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Rachel: No, but it's good, you know, I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work.
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
Rachel: You think youre gonna get out of this on a technicality?
RACHEL: Look at her.
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!
Rachel: ...Jack from downstairs?
Rachel: (knocking it down instead of catching it) That almost hit me in the face.
[Rachel enters]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
[Scene: Carol's room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau are there with her.]
Rachel: Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it.
Rachel: Shhh don't say that loud, Gunther's gonna want to hug me.
Rachel: So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but its not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Rachel: (grabbing Phoebe) Okay. Well be right back. (They go into her office and she closes the door.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Rachel: Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really I don't mind.