words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital, Ross and Rachel, whos in a wheelchair, are arriving in the waiting room for the maternity ward.]
Rachel: (deadpan) Yes, the hard part is truly over.
Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.)
Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, Im gonna go have a baby.
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Rachel: (interrupting her) Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Im sorry, semi-private? We (Laughs), we asked for a private room.
Rachel: Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! (They walk away from the desk.)
Rachel: Give her some money.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Rachel: (standing up) Okay. Yknow what? Id have to say I really dont care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in this city and we have no problem toWhoa! (She starts a contraction) Oh gosh! Whoa!
Rachel: Ow! Ow! Contraction. (Sits back down.) Ow-ow! Ow-ow! (Starts breathing heavily.)
Rachel: Yeah, it couldnt hurt to look.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Rachel is in bed, Ross is fooling around, and Dr. Long is checking on Rachel.]
Rachel: Oh, okay.
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Ross: Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! (Hes looking at the stirrups on the other bed in the room and Rachel groans. Ross then hops into the bed and puts his legs into the stirrups.) Never done this before.
Rachel: Yeah well it looks great!
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Rachel: Hi!
Marc: Oh hi Rachel.
Rachel: How are you?
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Rachel: Oh.
Marc: Hey! Smile! (Points his camera at Ross and Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
Rachel: Here comes another contraction.
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Rachel: Oh, thats veryReally very-very okay.
Julie: Have you felt Rachels cervix Ross?
Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I dont think well be doing that.
Ross: (simultaneously as Rachel) Were not gonna do that.
Julie: Well, if you like you can feel Rachels and then feel mine to compare.
Rachel: Oh. Oh wait no.
Rachel: No-no-dont! Dont leave me here with these people.
Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father!
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: Gimmie! (Takes the ring and puts it in his coat pocket as Rachel enters the hallway.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh, thank you so much for coming. Ross, get in here!
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why arent you with Rachel?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Rachel: New people.
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction!
Rachel: Ooh! Ow!!
Ross: No-no, Im Im sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy. (He closes the screen and stares wide-eyed at Rachel.)
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Rachel: Ross.
Rachel: Hes looking at me.
(Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Rachel: Yeah it was.
(Rachel motions for Ross to close the privacy screen, which he does.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Dr. Long is checking on Rachel again.]
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Dr. Long: We are moving along, just slowly. (Rachel lies back and sighs.) Dont worry, youre doing great. Ill be back soon. (Exits.)
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Im not waiting! Im gonna push this baby out! Im doing it! I mean its what? Three centimeters? Thats gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.)
Rachel: Oh stupid metric system!
Rachel: Oh for the love of God!
Rachel: Oh come on!!
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Rachel: Go get back on that case honey!
Rachel: Okay, well then bring her in.
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: I get it!
Rachel: Oh we-we didnt.
Rachel: Just tell me how.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Rachel: Oh hi.
Rachel: Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when youre trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Rachel: Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! (Starts another contraction as Dr. Long enters.)
Rachel: Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: My God. Okay. (Another woman enters.) Ha-ha-ha beat ya! Sucker!
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is finally giving birth.]
Rachel: 3-2-1 oh!!
Rachel: I cant. I cant push anymore, I cant.
Rachel: Oh God twenty seconds my ass!!
Rachel: Dont say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what?
Rachel: Oh God. Is she gonna be okay?
Dr. Long: Rachel youre gonna have to push even harder, nothings happening!
Rachel: Im sorry, I cant!
Rachel: I cant!
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Ross: No! Come on letsOne more time! One final push! Ready? 1 2 3! (Rachel pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Ross and knocking him down.)
Rachel: Are you okay?
Rachel: Oh God!
Rachel: Oh, shes so tiny. (Starts crying) Whered she go?
Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, shes really tiny.
(Dr. Long hands her to Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, shes looking at me. Hi! I know you.
Rachel: No, not yet.
Rachel: Oh no, Baby Girl Geller-Green.
(Ross and Rachel look into each others eyes and kiss.)
Rachel: Hello baby girl.
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
Rachel: Here. (Hands her to Monica.)
Rachel: What?
(Rachel starts crying again.)
Rachel: Oh nothing I Sorry, I just cant stop crying.
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Rachel: I was reliving it.
Phoebe: Ohhh. (Hands her back to Rachel.)
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Ross: Wow! Umm, okay uh everyone this is Isabella. (Rachel starts crying.) What?
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Rachel: Oh great! Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore.
Rachel: Well what are we going to do?
Rachel: Well tell us! What are they?
Rachel: And if its a girl?
Rachel: Oh, just tell us! Were not gonna want it!
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh honey, but you love that name.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Rachel is putting Emma down for a nap.]
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks at Aaron and recoils in horror.) Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesnt he?
Rachel: Oh, Im fine. (Gasps in pain as she sits down.)
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Rachel: Uh-huh. (Ross takes off his coat and sets in on a chair.) Yknow what I was, I was thinking about?
Rachel: Umm that kiss before we left the apartment. That was some-something huh?
Rachel: (pause) Right.
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Phoebe: I just cant decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Nothing.
Rachel: Really its nothing. Im just
Rachel: Ive just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
Rachel: Oh please, hell be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs.
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Rachel: I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh?
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you?
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? Theyre right on that chair under Rosss coat.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Joey.
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh honey thank God youre home, I was getting worried.
Rachel: (To Marcel) And I will see you tomorrow!
Rachel: Oh... Italy, I think.
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Rachel: No, I didn't. I wouldn't say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn't have the keys.
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
RACHEL: That is the most ridiculous.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.]
RACHEL: Oh that's what you want.
RACHEL: Fine.
[Rachel runs to the sink to spit it out.]
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
RACHEL: I'll help you throw out your purse.
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
[Monica and Rachel start yelling at the same time]
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
Rachel: (yelling and jumping like a child) OH, a soap opera roof party!! I'm going to a soap opera roof party!! Oh my God, oh my God!! (realizing how she's behaving) And it's out of my system!
Rachel: Oh yknow what? Yknow what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinmans and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Rachel enters, happily.]
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
MONICA AND RACHEL: Oh, no no no no no.
RACHEL: OK, well, bye. [kisses him]
Rachel: What are you guys doing here?
MONICA AND RACHEL: No no no no.
RACHEL: Oh yeah.
RACHEL: Impressive.
Monica (as Rachel): Hi.
Rachel: That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice. (They hug.)
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Rachel: (still can't find him) How are you doing this?
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
RACHEL: I think it's sexy.
(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)
RACHEL: Oh, it was so much fun.� It felt so good to be out.
Rachel: No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby!
Rachel: No-n-n-n-no! I am finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasnt working out to well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed.
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
RACHEL: Oh! What's new in sex?
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: No. [hitting each other]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
Rachel: (upset) All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little.
Rachel: Well theres yore. And uh, yknow, yesteryear.
Rachel: Well hello! Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
Julie: Rachel, do you have any muffins left?
Rachel: The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer. (Puts 'em on.)
Rachel: Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it, you must end it now!
Rachel: No. What do you do if I say we are coming about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
RACHEL: No, no, ACC-cept that.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun.
RACHEL: What, what incident?
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
ROSS: [Rachel enters] Oh.
RACHEL: Oh.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: Oh my God.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.
RACHEL: Oh, the guys are here.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
RACHEL: Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer?
RACHEL: Where's Chip, why isn't he here yet?
RACHEL: Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut?
Rachel: Well, congratulations, so do you love her?
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Monica: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?
JOEY: Yeah, someplace nice. (to Phoebe and Rachel) How much do you think I can get for my kidney? (at Central Perk)
[Rachel enters]
RACHEL: Hey you.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
RACHEL: So, uh, how was your day?
RACHEL: Really? Mine too.
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Joey: Oh my God, Im sorry, Im being so rude. (Turns to Rachel.) Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe.
[ROss approaches Rachel at counter.]
RACHEL: More than jewelry. [Rachel struts off, extremely pleased with herself]
Monica: Okay! Okay! Okay! (She succeeds in getting the eye drops in and everyone climbs off of Rachel.) We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours.
Rachel: Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother.
Rachel: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I cant even comfort my own baby! Im the worst mother ever!
RACHEL: Monica.
RACHEL: Monica.
RACHEL: Monica.
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
RACHEL: Just one cheek.
RACHEL: Rub it.
RACHEL: C'mon touch it.